I'm quite sure living in the South, especially in the Bible belt, other people have had this problem.
I'm married to a wonderful man. I have an extremely loving and close relationship with both of my parents. I have many close friends.
Only problem? I can't tell any of them about my faith.
I'm sure my husband has an idea. He's not stupid or blind. He's seen the books and the tarot cards and crystals, but he doesn't bring the subject up. He is tolerant of other religions (he hardly has one himself), but he doesn't agree with his wife's practice.
My parents would more tha likely disown me. They're staunch Southern Baptists.
Most of my friends are not not part of any religion, but were brought up in church and taught that any other religion was wrong. I was taught that as well, but I never believed that.
A dear friend of mine and I were talking about this problem a few weeks ago. We grew up in church together, but she just told her family about becoming a Buddist. She told me that she didn't believe that anybody chose their religion, it chose us. I totally believe that, but I still have no idea how to tell my loved ones.
Does anybody have some advice? Thanks!

It's such a delicate thing...telling people about your Path.....my situation was realitively easy.....My Father was a Free Mason, my Mother was a woman who was baptized Lutheran, but never went to church. She practiced holistic healing, herb magick with a bit of kitchen witchery thrown in.....I was never in or out of the closet...I have always just been me....

At the workplace, I rarely if ever, tell anyone of my Path unless they ask....and then it is only a few words...I never announce I am a witch.

I know each one of the fabulous members here has a different story and experience to share, and hopefully from everyone's perspective you can come uup with what is best for you and your situation....

The following article may help you as well....

Blessings Bright and Dark,
Lady Elaine

Interfaith Family

by Shadowcat

From the time I was five years old, my father insisted that I attend church with him. I never enjoyed it and I did everything I could, including forcing myself to vomit, to get out of it. For this reason, he called me a heathen.

I have been practicing nature religion for most of my life, and when I had children of my own I vowed I would never treat them the way my father had treated me, and that they would find their spiritual path with no pressure from me as to what form it would take. My daughter Angi was always too busy to seek a path, but my daughter Genny's path was a whole different matter, and rather a surprise to me.

When Genny was fourteen years old, I had a talk with her about the importance of finding one's spirituality in order to become a whole and healthy being. Like most people her age, she thought the world revolved around her and I felt it was time she discovered that in fact it did not. It wasn't a long talk, but I could tell she took it very seriously. Little did I realize that this moment was a turning point in our relationship, which had always been very special.

Two months later, I noticed that she was going out with friends every Thursday evening and returning home around 10 pm. I asked my husband about it and he declined to answer. Finally, I asked Genny about it. At first, she didn't want to tell me where she had been and became very defensive about it. Not wanting to start an argument but determined to get an answer, I continued to question her. Finally, she admitted that she and her friends were going to a youth group at the local community center. I asked what sort of "youth group" this was, and she admitted having joined a church and that she was having fun with her new friends. I think we were all relieved to have this out in the open. I said I would respect her choice as long as she continued to respect my choice to be a Wiccan.

I called a friend of mine who is a religion editor for a local paper and talked to him about the church Genny had joined. He was familiar with it and told me they had a wonderful youth program. He was very reassuring.

At first, everything seemed fine. She attended church every Sunday and participated in youth group activities. She was happy and busy with her new friends. But, as she was about to enter high school, she made it clear she did not want me attending her high school orientation, and only her father was invited to attend. My first mistake was to comply with this decision, and it was the beginning of her effectively shutting me out of her life.

Genny didn't want a mom who was "different," and she certainly didn't want anyone to know that her mom wore a pentacle! I tried on numerous occasions to discuss the situation with her, but she would get defensive and verbally abusive.

The situation continued to escalate and I noticed how extremely judgmental Genny had become. She was more openly hostile toward me, but I also noticed that she was treating some of her school friends the same way. The only "good" people were members of her church, and she stopped socializing with her other friends.

The mistake my husband and I made as parents is that we didn't sit down and discuss her decision to become a Christian and how that might affect our relationship to her and to each other. We should have had regular talks with Genny to encourage her to keep an open mind with regard to others' beliefs and choices. We should have helped her put her new religion in a better perspective with the rest of her life.

When it came time to apply for college, the only one that Genny wanted to attend was a private, non-accredited Christian college. I put my foot down hard this time. I would only pay tuition if she attended a state university. I thought it would be healthy for her to have a broader cultural experience, meeting many different kinds of people with different belief systems. Her father agreed with me, and for the first time since she started high school, she realized that I was an important part of her life and had some influence in her future. She chose the state university, but also chose to live off campus rather than to live in a dormitory.

The college atmosphere has been good for Genny. She is becoming more tolerant of others and our relationship has improved. The next hurdle we had to get over was the introduction of her boyfriend, Jon (whom she met through her church friends) to her Witch mother. He handled it well, and in the last year we've had some good conversations and social times with both of them. Now they tell me they want to get married next summer! How on earth am I going to arrange a church wedding? Well, it is another hurdle and we'll get over it together as long as we keep talking, keep our minds open, and maintain respect for each other. On a humorous note, I'm waiting for Jon to ask me why I didn't raise Genny as a Witch. I think I'll tell him it skips a generation.

The hardest part of being a parent is letting your child make choices with which you disagree. Genny is very happy with her church affiliation and she has a wonderful support network in them. She is a good student, a hard worker, and a good kid. As a parent, I can't complain. As an adult, she no longer condemns me for wearing a pentacle. We've worked through our differences and she is my sweet daughter again. We don't agree about everything, but we are civil about it.

I wanted to about this experience in hope of helping other Wiccan parents who find themselves in a similar situation. Teenage rebellion can take many forms and religion can be one of them. I don't believe Genny's choice of religion was the start of a rebellion, though, nor do I believer her continued devotion to her church to be rebellion. Rather I think she used her religion during her high school years to cut "mother's apron strings" so she could feel like an adult and make decisions of her own.

Though it was a painful time for both of us, some humor did come out of it. During a heated argument, Genny screamed, "You're possessed by the Devil!" I snarled back, "Well, I guess that means Satan loves you!" It wasn't funny at the time, but we laugh about it now. Blessed Be.

The information above was taken from Llewellyn's Witches' Calendar 1999

Thanks Lady Elaine.
I hope that one day I'll be able to tell the family.
I'm not ashamed about my Path at all, but it could cause such a riff in my family. My parents wouldn't understand.
Luckily, I do have a couple of friends in the same situation and we try to help each other out. Now, I hope to have even more.

i was going to reply to this last night, but got tied up with other things. my dad actually found my stash of Craft books. funny. Most Teenage and early twenty-somethings have a pornography stash. not me. my stash included books like The 21 Lessons of Merlin, The Lost Books of Merlin, Celtic Magic, Green Witchcraft, etc. and i was told that he "wanted all that devil worshiping shit out of his house." way to be tolerant and nonjudemental dad. eventually, about six months later, he came in and sat down and actually asked me about my faith. i told him what i believed.......for the most part. i didn't tell him that i was a practicing pagan. I told him that i enjoyed studying different religions, which is true and could prove it by the different books i had. i pulled out my box and showed him my books. those listed above plus the Tibetan book of the dead, the teachings of buddha, and some others that weren't Wiccan/Druidic in nature. from that point on we haven't discussed religion. it's actually a subject that's avoided like the plague. mom will occassionally tell me she wishes i would find a church and a good christian girl to settle down with, but both of those issues are sidestepped for the most part because she'll follow up that statement with, "but i know you don't believe how we believe, so i'm just going to hope you're happy." so i guess their ok with the Pagan thing. i don't hide my jewelry much anymore. when i go to their house i don't often wear my pentacle because i know that it makes them uncomfortable, and since i'm voluntarily going to their house, i think it's just courteous not to make them uncomfortable. When it comes to the other closet however, i doubt my parents will ever know. but at least i know that they accept me for who i am in regards to my faith.

It was easier to tell my mom. At first she was I think scared by it more than anything. But she had always taught us to be open minded, and to chose the path we walk wisely. It was easy to tell her, because, she's a lesbian, and I watched her heartache as my grandmother preaced hellfire and damnation to her. I was there to comfort my mom. So when I told her, she was more understanding than towards it, than her mother was to her. She doesn't completely agree with it, but we've come to the conclusion that we simply won't discuss it.

My sister didn't want to have anything to do with me after I told her. She was confused and afraid that I'd actually put a "curse on her". But that changed when her son developed a rash that the doctor's couldn't make go away, and I gave him an oatmeal bath and it was gone. She had sworn I performed a great miracle, when all I really did was read a parenting book *laughs*. She's still not cool with it, but she has seen how my faith has helped me personally.

My father pretends not to know about me, which is fine. You see, when I was younger I stayed up for about a week and decided that I would come out of the broomcloset with the help of some "mind altering substances". My father is a deacon of his church. LOL. So that didn't go over well at all. Doesn't bother me thought, because he was never an active player in my life. I am clean and sober now, and if he doesn't want to see that, that's his choice.

Friends, hmmm, all of my friends were pretty understanding. Being as my best male friend is studying shamanism. We were all pretty "different" in school.

I guess I was pretty much lucky

I do not consider myself in the broomcloset, but some people in my family do not know what my beliefs are. If they asked however, I would tell them. But I don't believe they want to know one way or the other.
My mother knows and has known since the day I started learning about Wicca (many many years ago). She tells all her friends that I am Wiccan (although I still can't seem to get her to realize/remember I am no longer on the Wiccan path, lol). But she isn't embarassed of me or ashamed, so for that I am lucky and honored. She also puts me on prayer lists with her friends when I need it for my health. She always tells me she is going to do it, and I always give the ok..because any good energy is worth taking, no matter where/who it comes from.

Sorry, started to digress there. Anyway, my mother is Babtist and I think my bio father is also. (He converted to Catholism when he married his second wife. They are divorced now, so I am not sure what his path is at this time). My ex-stepfather was/is Pentacostle. So they comprised and joined a Pentacostle/Babtist church, and that is the one my brother and I went to as kids. They knew I wasn't Christian at a realitivly early age (before I even knew there were other ways besides Christianity) because I started questioning the things we were being taught.
I hated going to church, since none of it resinated with me. And I ended up causing my mother's husband to become very angry and then succeeded in doing the same in church one day. I was asked to leave the church and that was the end of that.

My bio-father has no idea what I practice. All he knows is that I do not believe in getting on my knees and humbling myself to God. He has left it at that. Since we don't know each other well, he does not push in most areas.

All my friends know my beliefs. Most of my friends are Christians but all are respectful of me and my family, as I am of them and theirs.
It is a running joke in my family of where my mother screwed up. She has a Pagan daughter and an Atheist son. lol But everyone knows it is just a joke, and we all try to respect each other.

Oh, I think it also helps me that I am not the only pagan in the family. My aunt (my mom's sister) is the one that taught me all about Wicca and got me started in her coven. And my mother practiced some things for a little while before realizing that Christianity is really her path.
And there has been talk long before I was even thought of, that others in my family practiced witchcraft. And all the remedies that have been passed down for minor ailments.

I almost forgot my husband's side of the family. Everyone that he speaks to knows we are Pagan. Except his grandmother who is in her 90's and has a really bad heart. She is very devout and we do not do anything to upset her, as we do not want to be the cause of a heartattack that may kill her. It is hard for me to not speak of my beliefs, as it goes against who I am to hide what I am..but I respect my husband's wishes and the fact that she is not in the best of health.
It isn't often that we see her in person, so I do not have to hide my books, cards, etc. very often.
And our kids get to learn from her when she does get to come for a visit.
His aunt (who I just love to death) came for a visit with her once and had to make a trip to the local bookstore to get a copy of one of my books. lol And his mom (who I also love) has me read her cards for her.

ladyalpha

I just wanted to post again and suggest that if you do choose to "come out" to your family, you might want to give them a copy of Truth About Witchcraft Today by Scott Cunningham.
It gives facts about what it is done and isn't. I always suggest broaching the subject with the book in hand. Then a simple suggestion of reading the book and getting back to the child (friend, etc.) with any questions that they have after reading it.

Also let them know that by rejecting their religious path, you are not rejecting them. As this tends to be a fear sometimes.
That at this time in your life, you have grown to feel that another way to God is the right way for you and your heart.
And then of course, you must make sure to show respect for them and their beliefs. They may reacte badly at first and then come back to you later with questions. Sometimes it is just a shock to the system to hear things you weren't expecting to hear.

But, I don't suggest that you tell them at a big family reunion or anything else major going on. lol You may want to call them and let them know that you want to come over and discuss something that has been on your mind. Then let them know up front that you are worried about their reaction and their love for you (Or however you want to put it obviously), and then get it out.

I personally have found that all the horrible reactions I thought I was going to have, have been blown way out of proportion in my own mind. When things were out in the open, the results were not that bad. And the level of trust and knowledge of how deep a parents love can go, was stronger in the end.

I hope this helps.
May the path you follow be true to your heart,
ladyalpha

P.S.
I just assumed that you practice Wicca. I'm sorry if you are practicing a different belief and my assumation and my book suggestion doesn't fit.

My wife and daughter see what I read. Every thing from all fantasy, fiction, etc. Now Wicca, shamanism etc. At work I am known as the "expendable heathen" as a joke, that I promote. Thats another story and true. Come out of the closet, hard to say if I ever will completely. I may one day, very few know or understand now. And I really don't care how many do, as long as I do. I have already been through a "Oh God, they are Satan worshipers" era before." Pardon me if I am a bit invisible for a time. But I am me, I am what I will be. As my path becomes more clear I will continue to grow and learn. Others can accept or deny, that is their option. I have my options!

i remember the time when i broke the news about my religion, to one of my aunts who was a christain at the time. we talked out our religious differentces, but i didn't force my beilfs on to her.

well.

hmm.

You are all so inspiring to me. How you are so right in your ways. I have live my life as a witch since before I can remember. I used to leave cakes for the fairies as a child, talk to the "man in the tree", as i called him when I was 5. I used to have dreams and preminitions, I used to burn candles for luck. All purely of instinct.

My mom, is what people may call a "christian", (at times I feel embarrassed to use that word because what the world has done with it) but she serves Jesus, and lives her life based on His teachings and the word of the Bible. All my life I have watched us struggle with churches, their lack of acceptance for new ideas, and new theories, their lack of support, and help. I would read my Bible as I was told, and I would love it. Than I would go to church and feel so utterly confused, because the things that were being said were completely different than what i just read. So my mom and I "church-hopped" for years always with conflict (my dad claims to be a christian but in no way follows any path other than the way of TV).

I was always interested in the "occult" as an outsider may call it. But I loved my Jesus, he was my best friend. I felt a great conflict in my heart. So I prayed long and hard, that God would show me something. It came, from the bible acctually. The talk of the "wise women" spurred my interest. And I began to study them, and the meaning behind the term "witchcraft". My finding was the word the bible uses for "witchcraft", it's acctually a mistranslation from the 1400's. The word the translator's used for witchcraft is acctually a greek word meaning "devil's associate" and nothing THEY do can even be COMPARED to witchcraft. The more I studied the more I found that witchcraft fits perfectly with the bible. (of course "wicca" in some respects is very different).

ANYWAY!!! my point! I read and studied and prayed, studied. And I finally wrote a summary about all that I had learned, and I gave it to my mom to read, and then i ran upstairs into my room like a whimp. lol. She came up, I was so nervous. I new she would still love me, of course, but I thought a lecture was coming. To my surprise, she was impressed with all my work and research. She hugged me and I almost started to cry from relief! She said,

"ya know, who knows all of the bible's mysteries. No one can really know FOR SURE." than she said..."don't "have a religion" don't "follow someone's path" be what is in YOUR heart to be, and God will guide you."

I was so relieved.

I've never come out and called myself a "witch", but that is the definition for what I do.

So if you're worried, just remember you ARE you, no matter what you do, or who you choose to tell...

OK THAT'S ENOUGH CHEESYNESS AND RANTING FOR ONE POST!

GOODNIGHT! AND THANK YOU AMERICA!

I really appreciate all the replies. Since I've last been on, I have found and been accepted into a wonderful grove that reflects my path. Things have been great. I'm not exactly up to coming right out yet, but I'm getting there. Thanks.

I am definately in the broom closet! I spent a huge portion of my life as a fundy christian and raised my family as such. In the back of my spirit I always felt there was more, but didn't pay attention to that until my children were practically grown.

My husband would not be open at all. Few of my friends would understand, but thankfully, I have made new friends who are openminded if not pagan themself. I keep the old friends too.

I have no overwhelming desire to come out of the closet anyway. It can be quit cozy in there..just me and the goddess and god and the elements and mother earth and.....sheesh..there are a lot of us in this closet!!

I guess you could say I am half out of the broom closet. My husband knows and supports me fully. Most of my friends know, they are accepting and mostly curious. My Mother knows and understands. She has always been something of a kitchen witch herself, without knowing it. However, I am not out to my Father and will most likely never be. He is a very rigid Christian. So my Mother and I have wonderful conversations about religion and herbs when he is not around. Oh well, I guess we all have someone we can't tell.

claddaugh

I have always been very reserved anyway, especially when it comes to personal or spiritual matters. I have a couple of friends who are very religious. One is a Baptist minister. The other is a Pentecostal. On the surface, they would not appear to be people with whom I'd willingly associate. However, we share the most important spiritual and personal values. They each think I'm a closet Christian, secretly yearning to emerge from the shadows to become One Of Them. We have lengthy spiritual and theological discussions; the minister has even used some of my suggestions for sermons. They only thing they really know about me, other than the fact that I spend a lot of time alone in the woods, is that I have a very personal, intimate relationship with The Divine. They have no idea how I achieve this. I simply don't have the heart to break the truth to them. They're not ready for the truth.


Blessings.
Monk