Welela
Posted Mon Feb 19, 2007 2:33 am...
Well here it goes I have never started any topic….
But I feel a drift, I have become accustom to knowing what is coming in my life, reading the signs.
I was off this week I knew something from my past was coming to be churned up, because I had been harping on my past this hole week even becoming a bit depressed.. I truly thought that I would hear that my father whom I have not spoken to in almost 17 years I would find out he died.. That is really what I thought was coming…
That was not it.. Instead it was a deer friend from childhood, well teen dome.. At 11 I got a phone call from a friend who said “I have some bad news, I know you knew her” and she proceed to tell me that a friend had passed away this week and her wake was today.. Well I got off the phone in shock and immediately went to my photo albums, and pulled out a bunch of pictures of when I was 14 and 15 and was new to my town, and so was the other girl, both sharing the same name and same first initial of the last name and her middle name started with L and mine with M.. We had become instant friends, both having had broken homes and new in town it fit perfect.
We staid friends for years, she would come on my family vacations and though she had a disability she never let it stop her, and was a sister I had not had. She was a strength to recon with in her self but caring to others, and I was a strong and impenetrable rock, that she understood.
We lost touch when I went off the deep end in my teens loosing my grandfather and becoming a complete and utter self destructive angry bit of a crazy girl.
And many years later when I happen to be working at a restaurant she came walking in and it was like we had never lost touch. She was planning her wedding there and I was going to work that day so..
She was laughing that I would at least be at her wedding and I was giggling that I always knew I would be…
That was the last I had talked to her…
Since then I hade become a home day care provider. And a artist selling my sculptures. And getting a job in floral design. And then back to trying to sell my art full time..
And what had she been doing, Well she went on to do floral design in a few florist in the area and then do home day care from her home.
Funny how we loose each other but never really do…
She leaves behind 4 little girls…… Young girls, her oldest is only about 7 and she broke my heart today, so quiet and sad just a shadow of the girl she must have been, then there is one who is about 4 jumping around that old Victorian funeral home, who kept coming up to me and talking to me, she would come into ever room I was in like she knew me ,I have never met them but she seemed to know me, and is very her mom… And then there are the little almost 1 year old twin girls, who where very sniffle and coming down with a cold and couldn’t be settled.. And after I had gone and given my respect to her and tried not to look at her in her coffin (because that was not her) And said to her mom I am sure you do not remember me but I am a old friend of “ “ and my name is” “ I only got one letter out and she said Ooo yes did you see your picture out there with the matching dresses, (well I do not cry in front of anyone EVER but I could not hold it in,) and then they all knew who I was and I could not stop my tears, then I tried to utter a word to her husband who looked more lost than any person I have ever seen But we only looked at each other in a long sad look and I could only mouth I’m sorry, and he could only nod while holding my hand and his eyes where over flowing with grief, then her sister hugged me I tried to hurry away
two things I do not do well with, being hugged and publicly crying.. But I was stopped instantly by one of her little babies she had been crying and when I stopped to wait for my mom I looked up and we where looking at each other this little beautiful baby and she stopped crying and we just looked at each other for a moment of recognition, then it was gone, and Thankfully my mother and a friend had come along with me, so I did as my mom says I do when someone gets to close and I “run away run away” and they where at me side..
Please if you could all give those little girls your strength and to her pore husband who is so lost right now!!!
It was very sudden and gave no one anytime to even dream of such a thing..
I have written this letter to send with a card now that I have a bit of time to think about it..
I hope it will be ok I never know… Please if it is to much let me know before tomorrow when I put in the card for the funeral..
Thank you for being the wonderful group of people you are!!!!
The …… and …. Family
I wanted to share these pictures it seems so long ago and yet yesterday all in one thought..
There seemed to be something s magical about the time in our life with innocence of childhood meeting the cynicism of adult hood.
But they are much loved stills in time and always in my memory.
There was so much more I would have said to all of you, her family if I had had my wits about e, I had just found out a few hours earlier and I was lost..
Please know how truly grateful I am for knowing her!
And to “ ‘s “ little girls I have to let you know I loved you mom very much and she inspired me when we where young and both in new town . Her with a friendly outgoing spirit and an inability to give up always had me looking up to her.
Even though I have just met you, I am so very sure you are all filled with your mothers strength and beauty!
But I feel a drift, I have become accustom to knowing what is coming in my life, reading the signs.
I was off this week I knew something from my past was coming to be churned up, because I had been harping on my past this hole week even becoming a bit depressed.. I truly thought that I would hear that my father whom I have not spoken to in almost 17 years I would find out he died.. That is really what I thought was coming…
That was not it.. Instead it was a deer friend from childhood, well teen dome.. At 11 I got a phone call from a friend who said “I have some bad news, I know you knew her” and she proceed to tell me that a friend had passed away this week and her wake was today.. Well I got off the phone in shock and immediately went to my photo albums, and pulled out a bunch of pictures of when I was 14 and 15 and was new to my town, and so was the other girl, both sharing the same name and same first initial of the last name and her middle name started with L and mine with M.. We had become instant friends, both having had broken homes and new in town it fit perfect.
We staid friends for years, she would come on my family vacations and though she had a disability she never let it stop her, and was a sister I had not had. She was a strength to recon with in her self but caring to others, and I was a strong and impenetrable rock, that she understood.
We lost touch when I went off the deep end in my teens loosing my grandfather and becoming a complete and utter self destructive angry bit of a crazy girl.
And many years later when I happen to be working at a restaurant she came walking in and it was like we had never lost touch. She was planning her wedding there and I was going to work that day so..
She was laughing that I would at least be at her wedding and I was giggling that I always knew I would be…
That was the last I had talked to her…
Since then I hade become a home day care provider. And a artist selling my sculptures. And getting a job in floral design. And then back to trying to sell my art full time..
And what had she been doing, Well she went on to do floral design in a few florist in the area and then do home day care from her home.
Funny how we loose each other but never really do…
She leaves behind 4 little girls…… Young girls, her oldest is only about 7 and she broke my heart today, so quiet and sad just a shadow of the girl she must have been, then there is one who is about 4 jumping around that old Victorian funeral home, who kept coming up to me and talking to me, she would come into ever room I was in like she knew me ,I have never met them but she seemed to know me, and is very her mom… And then there are the little almost 1 year old twin girls, who where very sniffle and coming down with a cold and couldn’t be settled.. And after I had gone and given my respect to her and tried not to look at her in her coffin (because that was not her) And said to her mom I am sure you do not remember me but I am a old friend of “ “ and my name is” “ I only got one letter out and she said Ooo yes did you see your picture out there with the matching dresses, (well I do not cry in front of anyone EVER but I could not hold it in,) and then they all knew who I was and I could not stop my tears, then I tried to utter a word to her husband who looked more lost than any person I have ever seen But we only looked at each other in a long sad look and I could only mouth I’m sorry, and he could only nod while holding my hand and his eyes where over flowing with grief, then her sister hugged me I tried to hurry away
two things I do not do well with, being hugged and publicly crying.. But I was stopped instantly by one of her little babies she had been crying and when I stopped to wait for my mom I looked up and we where looking at each other this little beautiful baby and she stopped crying and we just looked at each other for a moment of recognition, then it was gone, and Thankfully my mother and a friend had come along with me, so I did as my mom says I do when someone gets to close and I “run away run away” and they where at me side..Please if you could all give those little girls your strength and to her pore husband who is so lost right now!!!
It was very sudden and gave no one anytime to even dream of such a thing..
I have written this letter to send with a card now that I have a bit of time to think about it..
I hope it will be ok I never know… Please if it is to much let me know before tomorrow when I put in the card for the funeral..
Thank you for being the wonderful group of people you are!!!!
The …… and …. Family
I wanted to share these pictures it seems so long ago and yet yesterday all in one thought..
There seemed to be something s magical about the time in our life with innocence of childhood meeting the cynicism of adult hood.
But they are much loved stills in time and always in my memory.
There was so much more I would have said to all of you, her family if I had had my wits about e, I had just found out a few hours earlier and I was lost..
Please know how truly grateful I am for knowing her!
And to “ ‘s “ little girls I have to let you know I loved you mom very much and she inspired me when we where young and both in new town . Her with a friendly outgoing spirit and an inability to give up always had me looking up to her.
Even though I have just met you, I am so very sure you are all filled with your mothers strength and beauty!
Last edited by Welela on Mon Feb 19, 2007 7:00 am; edited 1 times in total
"All the knowledge you need is inside you. You simply have to access it."
~Sandra Ingerman~
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