Okay here is my problem i am not normaly shy when it comes to almost anything. accept for one thing weman. It is like when i am attracted to a woman i get nervous and start studdering then I get embarest and walk away or they laugh at me.
my uncles think it is great fun to set me up and watch me make a fool of myself.
I also have the nice guy complex my freinds think i am way too nice and that makes me a door matt for weman. With my track record it's not good. so any suggestions on how to overcome them please give me your input. thanks

Most women think that shy men are cute!  (If that's any consolation.)  Just remember that if a woman is interested in you, she will overlook your shyness and stuttering (probably won't even notice you ARE stuttering!).  If she doesn't, she is not for you.  Also, the way you feel around women may be the way they feel around you.  If you feel weak and nervous, so do many of them!  (Like your mom always said about bees, "they're as scared of you as you are of them!")
It wouldn't hurt, maybe, to charge a crystal, (i.e. tiger's eye or agate) for the sake of courage and confidence and carry it with you on a date!

It can be difficult to overcome shyness, especially in situations of meeting and talking with someone you're interested in... Try to just affirm to yourself that you are a kind and decent person and that you deserve someone with like qualities.   You said in your post that sometimes the women you try to talk to laugh.  If someone is going to laugh, you don't need them.  Maturity definitely is a factor!!

Good luck and hold your head high!!!   You'll meet your perfect someone.   Don't short change yourself!

Uriel

sheesh, talking about women with mom around... :roll:  haha.

seriously though, everything said so far is true.  A woman who's right for you will like you for exactly who and what you are.  Don't ever feel like you have to change for her, or you'll both end up living a lie.  

at the same time though, confidence is catching... sometimes doing something to boost how you feel about yourself can help.  not because of what others will think, but what will make you feel more comfortable in your own skin.  A friend of mine rarely smiled because she hated her teeth after smoking for years.  She was a whole different person once she went and got them whitened.  make yourself feel good and others will notice.

thank you all for your input and i will try to work on some of the things mentioned.
katharticai found out a wile ago that i shouldn't have to change for them in the last serious relationship i was in it made me regret ever putting a ring on her fingure. i accepted her for who she was but she tried to force me into a mold that i couldn't live with. finaly after four years i dicited i was going to do what i enjoyed she got physicaly violent and more mentaly abusive. She was already upset that i wouldn't get four inches chopped of my manhood and i started doing things she forbade me from doing like listening or playing music, writing , playing role playing games.so everything just cascaded and i ended it. she wanted me to be something i wasn't and never could be.
so i learned the hard way not to change for someone to make them happy that you have to find someone that you can live with them as they are and they can live with you how you are.

"She was already upset that i wouldn't get four inches chopped of my manhood ..."  
Oh good god and goddess...

I offer a perspective in the way of alliviating shyness during the actual act of communication. So we start here with an understanding that communication is a transmission of a message between sender and receiver through a medium.  Notice, so far, than anxiety and shyness are not intrinsic to the act.  The transmission through the medium (be it, usually, air when talking face to face) takes time, and the time that the message takes to get from sender to receiver (not to mention the enternity it can seem to take sometime to receive feedback from receiver to sender) is referred to as "dead air". Just like on the radio. Uncomfortable silence. Queue the demons of self doubt. "That was a dumb thing to say", "What could the response possibly be?", "Maybe I should explain what I didn't mean by that..." Anxiety. Clam up, you've already said too much. Flee! = Shyness.

So I might practice acknowledging this dead air in conversations with nonjudgemental, or at least friendlier, company - like trees or whatever you feel comfortable with. Be aware of the thought demons that creep in during times of dead air. From this point, you can identify your source of impending anxiety, what you call "shyness" and work it to your will.

I assumed much in order to make my point. Forgive me if I was off base. Take what you like and leave the rest, no worries.

Good luck lady's man
RealEyez

:roll: Ok Bubba Realeyez has some really darn good advice.  What I did was far tougher but here you go anyway.  When I would be faced with a guy I really liked I thought "what would carrie do?" Oh yeah, I pulled out the 'sex and the city' reference.  Anyway for you it would be a man you admire and respect.  What would such and such do.  How do I want this story to go when I tell it years later.  Then a deep breath and do it.  When I met Justin I was a ball of nerves, Remember you, Mom, and I went out to lunch that day and we stopped off at his work?  That was me overcoming my shyness.  I didn't speak to his face about my intentions untill much later, but I did make it known I wanted him in my company.  I left him with my number and hoped he would call later.  That put the ball in his court in a quiet way where I wouldn't necessarily be dealing with rejection to my face.  Makes it a little easier for me at least.  Alot of my shyness stems on what the other persons reaction will be, or what will they think of me.  I also decided I didn't give a CRAP on what other people will think or say.  After Jay I realized that no matter how perfect you try to be for others you still get the crap beat out of ya or the threat of the loss of 4 inches.  It is time to be happy because you are you bubba!  You are an amazing guy.  Do you have any idea how many of my "friends" were my friends because of how hot my big brother is.  Guess what, just like me, you got hotter as you got older, not the other way around.  So I would suggest deciding what you are worth!  What do you deserve?  I could have gotten in to other relationships between the Jay and Justing era but were they worth it?  Heck NO!  Who would want a Jay repeat or Stupid Baby Mamma repeat (I will not use her stinking name! Boy I wish I could cuss here or to her!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid b*tch) I deserve better you convinced me of that when you were putting the bandaids on my ear.  I DESERVE BETTER AND SO DO YOU :!:   You are a wonderful man bubba, and when that woman who truly sees you come along, you'll know.  You will know it in your bones, and you will feel it everytime you touch her.  Keep your chin up Bubba, she is out there.  Anyway I think I found one for ya and she is even more shy than you are.  I showed her your picture and she turned several different shades of red before she ran.  She couldn't beleive YOU or SOMEONE LIKE YOU would be single.  Her name is Kim and she is taller than I am with blonde hair and blue eyes.  Kinda a hippie chick and has actually spent time in Europe.  I think you will definately dig her.  And if she isn't the right one, boy would she be fun to waste some time with :roll:  
I love you Bubba
Angel

Sorry about my rant you may find one much like it in the rubber room though. �Mom sent me to time out
Skyy
P.S.  Alot of girls see a shy guy and that gives them certainty that he actually LIKES her and doesn't just wanna get laid too!!  That is a lesson I wish I learned sooner

Skyy padded rooms are only fun for a short time about half an hour then the jacket starts to dig in and chaif i don't suggest it  (woohoo) . i  would like to meet this kim . It would be funner than what i'm doing now wich is nothing. as for the hippie part as long as she sees' the place a warrior takes you know to protect those who can live in peace then i am cool with that.i am already feeling kinda off about meeting her. i need you to call me i think she was in a vision not sure need further info on looks.

Skyy, you are such a good Sis!!!

yeah she is a big pain sometimes but i would have it no other way

Thank you Seamonster, He kinda deserves it he is a really good brother  :roll:

Torrvald, We will have to go out to lunch because she is a waitress at Justin's work.  She is really embarrassed and doesn't want to deal with "Such a hot guy" rejecting her.  Didn't you know you can have any girl you want, why on earth would you pick her?  I don't know how peace loving she is, that is something you will have to learn for yourself
I love you Torrvald
Skyy

Cromotos
you are right on many points about me i have always had issues about my own worth even when it comes to things i do well. like when i sword fight the king and queen of the group i fight for call me there best in both ethics and fighting. i was a (premier) fighter for my group at the ren fair demonstrations. other knights told me that they didn't want to face me fully rested and at 100%.
i work graveyards and after work went out and did three demonstrations a day in one and a half to two hour intervols. what rest i did get i was in my armor and as soon as i got to sleep had to get up and fight again. it was tiring but even that i enjoied. the only thing that is unsualy braught up is i don't follow the virtues of chastity or celabitcy. i tell them i am not crystain and thouse virtues aren't in my code of enoblement.
as for females most of the time i do veiw myself as unworthy of there favor. it is like in beuty and the beast how could they ever learn to love a beast i am just a monster. that is how i kinda veiw myself as a beast.
i have always looked at myself as less than human. so when people have seen me and described me as some great elf lord fresh from the wood or some god in human form, an angel come to earth ect.... i can't help but scof and think they need there eyes checked because they must be seeing stuff or on some realy good drugs. So when i do work up the courage to go speak to them i get so nervous, scared, and shy that i blow it in some way. some of my female freinds tell me that i could have anyone i wanted and they don't understand what is wronge with me. they can't fathom why i am this way because i am try to veiw myself as equil to females and am alot better now than i use to be. not compleatly there yet. Another problem is i am a die hard hopeless romantic.
but i have to go  post later. Fare thee well

torrvald you obviously adhere to a higher prescription of worthiness than is usually found in individuals. you display it as a fault but i think you know deep down it is to be commended.

commend it. I commend it for you, and you for it.

when you find a good partner for travels with in this realm, you'll just start walking together. if something hasn't jived yet, it just wasn't "meant to be." (insert cheesy frown and thumbs down here  :roll: ) you're aware you're on a very unique path, way off the beaten and in a type of seclusion from what most would view as a feasible option of travel. doesn't mean you're lost, and you know that. Finding travelers where you are and travel will be few and far between...you're on an old dirt byway when there's interstates to contend with now. be patient lonely traveler...you'll pass another. and they probably aren't going to the same place you are - but enjoy the company if it happens to pass.

why settle and follow someone to Santa Barbara when you're heading for the stars? would you have it any other way?

My thoughts on this subject are to just be yourself and don't care if they like you or not.  Because when it's right, it will be right.  And I know very well that this is easier said than done......oh how I know....but I find that when I am truly just myself, I build the lasting types of relationships.  Just go in there with your warrior spirit and don't be afraid of defeat!!     And maybe if you feel really nervous you could ask Freya for a little boost of loving confidence......I believe you follow Norse??  Good luck in your quest.....and I agree with my brother that the less you look the more likely it will fall in your lap!!

Brightest Blessings,
Merenwen