Thank you both for your kind words. i don't know how to reply realy it is flattering and i don't know how to respond but with a simple thanks.

cromotos your words ring truer than i would like to admit to myself. yes i am kinda the epitome of knighthood many people have told me i am like  sir lance alot before his fall in modern times.
and if i was down there or you were up here i would train you.
I did find florida very beutiful when i was there the beaches were breathtaking on the gulf side.
orlando was cool too.
i shall realy try to keep your kind words in mind as i continue on my path. i think of you as a freind and i am honored to have met you. your perceptions of me is quite on the mark .
strength is something we all have it is just something that we must find within i am sure you have strengths that you are good at alot of it is strait stuborness and refusal to just let some things pass.
may the light shine upon your path my freind.

*giggles* Torrvald, you remind me of a student I had this year.  He is only eight, but he is already so humble.  I really had a hard time convincing him of himself.  He didn't think he was cute, and, in fact, mentioned a couple times about being ugly.  He also didn't think much of his personality.  However, this boy (who looks a lot like the Indian actor from "Harold and Kumar") Is going to be probably one of the "best looking" men on the planet and has a sense of humor that can make the entire class fall out of their seats laughing.  On top of that he had honor roll, even though he didn't think he was smart.  One of the girls in his group (quite a looker herself) was obviously "interested", and every time he was out on the playground, the little KG girls would hang on him and pull his clothes, chasing him around the yard, so that he never could play with the boys.  "Why do they DO that?"  He would ask me.  Of course, we know WHY!!  It's the same for you, friend.  I'll bet the "little girls" chase you around the yard, but you don't know why...hee, hee.
We were having a "presidential election" and this boy happened to win the "primary" over the girl that was interested in him.  She got "something in her eye" (actually she was crying, but didn't want to admit it), and, you know, this precious boy stepped down and gave the honor to her so that she could continue to run!

Well what else is a father to do but to show there childern that there is nothing to fear if you just face it.
it made my daughter very happy and she wasn't scared of the closit anymore . the hugs and kisses i got from her was very cool and i didn't have to worry about monsters in her room again.
My X was very pissed at me for playing into our daughters imagination but i am not one to stifle creative thiking. imagination and creativity are such wonderful things.
granted there are a few who i offered to train in knighthood but they never compleated there training said i was too hard because for knighthood under me i required much more than what the kingdom required. As for magickal training there has been a few the people i started training until i seen they would have used the power they gained for the wronge resons like my freind brent i started to show him magick he could feel it so i was going to start teaching him until i seen were he would take it and the damage he would have caused. years later he thanked me for not teaching him because with that kind of power he would have turned dark now he is a buddist and is seeking enlightenment.
 seamonster as a child i was the outcast. i never fit in never realy tried to fit in. i was the weird kid and was made fun of. i have dislexia and for most of my child hood i didn't know others did not have the same abilities as i do. So i was avoided usualy .
and with the 25 cents i got from him we usaly got candy or something and split it i didn't care about the money and wasn't the reason i was protecting him i just wish he could have survived the cancer.

He needed a friend like you!  
I'm sure that at the time you were growing up, Dyslexia was relatively "undetected", and many people didn't know how to deal with it.  Of course, kids now have a greater chance of "surviving dyslexia". ( I had a student this year with it and she was such a hard worker.  She passed her reading with 95%!!!  It's simply a matter of learning what tools to use to keep their focus on the page!)  
You know, I'd be willing to lay a wager that most of the people that hang out on this website were "outcast" as children because of their differences.  I know I was!  It's hard for people that have not developed their abilities (and we all have some form of "magick"--whether or not we know it) to understand those who have (either purposefully or accidentally).  I, personally, always felt that I didn't fit in, even with the few friends that I had, and then most of THEM were people who latched onto ME because of my abilities.  (Not that that was a good thing. )  I'm still that way...many, many, many years later. :roll:
Your Ex sounds like a damp towel!  If I were a little girl, scared of monsters, I would most certainly appreciate my knight in shining armor (Daddy) to come and vanquish them for me!  I can only imagine what that will do for her as an adult.  It will most certainly empower her!!!  She is a very lucky little girl!

thank you seamonster .
yes in school it wasn't nearly as known as it is now and the teachers understand it better than they did. alot of the time it was the teachers that would say that i was stupid and couldn't be taught. that reading and math were two things i would never learn how to do. i am a slow reader but what i read i memorize and with math i am decent at it now enof to score at collage levels with my GED test.
i had dropped out and went back years later and got my GED.
my Ex was so much worse than a wet towel atleast with them you can hang them out to dry or put them in the drier.  :roll:
i was not that socialy graced and still have problems at times my sis Skyy she was the social butterfly.

Torrvy!!!!
THAT IS THE FRIGGIN' PROBLEM!!!!!!  A BEAST?!?!?!?!?  NO WAY!!!!!  I wish you could see you through my eyes, then you would get a partial understanding.  Oooooooo  you you you butt head.       You are so much more than you will allow yourself to see!!  I'm gonna post it note you soon you butt munch!  When I was depressed Nickie post it noted me.  And I will get Mom in on it too.  I will even go to kareokee (sp?) with you and get some of the compliments some of the girls say there!!!   Post it noting is when you write down all sorts of TRUE compliments and hang them all over the place.  The most important one is the bathroom mirror one.  This is where your self affirmation comes from.  Mine said something like "I am a strong and powerful woman who deserves the best this world has to offer.  I am independent and beautiful and can handle anything this world can dish out."  This type of self affirmation is said when you are angry, nervouse, shy, or even feeling a little insecure.  I tell ya Torrvy (i like that   ) it sounds silly and stupid but it really works if you want it to and sometimes if you don't.  YOU BETTER LISTEN TO CROMOTOS TOO!!!!
Don't make me get midevil on your buttox!!!!!!!!!!
I love you
Skyy

Cromotos may I use your words for Torrvy's "post it" noting?  I have to get him to see what I see, but your words ring more true than anything I could have said myself (and I actually write!) I see them speaking to his soul and heart and would love to quote you.
Anyone else who would like to get in on the "post it" noting can leave comments here or PM me.  I have 3 packs of post its and am prepared to use them all on this!!
Blessed Be and thank you
Skyy

it looks as if i have realy stepped in it this time .

Cromotos it is a high honor that you would do such a thing and i don't know if i am worthy of such. with that said the only thing i can do at this point is continue on and offer that if you need any assistance just ask i will help if i can.

Skyy i haven't gone to kariokee in some time since i moved into my new apartment. the bar i like to go to is on the other side of town and you know i won't drive even if i have a sip i usualy go drink when i sing.  (boogie)
atleast now i don't have to worry about all the requests and people asking me to sing for there band. aa)
as for the post it thing i am trying to get better that is why i started this string. so i could gather info and try to use it to better myself in a area i have never been that good in.

ohh and my real name is Douglas Ahart
torrvald is part of my fighting name and the full part is Sir Torrvald Kurbak the grim

Well... I was probably like you are, or perhaps worse. In high school, I was not only shy with girls, but I was becoming someone withdrawn, and I decided to overcome it. I joined the school choir, and was very nervous the few times that I had to sing in public (with the group). After a few years of getting in front of people I began to get the confidence to sing solo. It took a while, but I was able to go in front of large audiences and sing without falling to pieces.

Later on in college, I pushed myself into public speaking a bit. This helped a lot when I ended up in the workforce. When I landed a job, I took the opportunity to present to colleagues and at functions. This further built my confidence and today I present at conferences and to high level executives around the world.

That never did help with my shyness with women. I think I still lack confidence there, but luckily, I sort of put women on the back burner through college, and then I met my wife at my first job after college. We worked on a friendship for about a month before I got up the courage to give her a kiss, and worked on that for another 2 months before we got serious. Three years later, we got married.

So... if you want to meet someone that's right for you, I don't think the shyness will stop you from finding true love. I was 23 when I met my wife, and I see a lot of young folks these days who are not shy when it comes to the opposite sex, and yet they just keep going from one meaningless realationship to another.

On the other hand, if you really want to overcome the shyness with women, I would try something similar to what I did with singing and public speaking. The only way to overcome your anxiety is to make it less threatening. To do that, you have to put yourself in that situation many times to get used to it. I always recommend to folks who are looking for a job to go on a lot of interviews for jobs they don't really want. They won't care if they don't get a call back, and it gives them some perspective as to what employers will ask and gives them a chance to polish their responses. I would say the same is true in your situation.

If you really want to overcome the shyness, go out with a lot of women in whom you really have no interest. Maybe one of those 5 minute dating things would be interesting. In the Boston area, there is something called "lunch dates" where folks just meet for friendship and lunch. Also, internet dating might not be a bad choice. The trick is to just meet some women as friends, get to know what you want to talk about, and what they want to talk about. Don't care if you'll ever see them again... and this will help you overcome any social anxiety. Then you'll be ready to talk to the women you do want to date.

Truth be told, if the woman is right for you, it really won't matter, but these tricks might help you boost your self confidence. -- Good luck.

brume the public singing thing is no problem for me was lead singer in several bands when i was yonger. i am not verry modest ether i have modled a few times plus went to a clothing optional camp for awile. with wemon i am not interestedin i can be a terible flirt most of the girls i work with have wanted to get me in the sack i think it is kinda fun to make them blush   . the problem is when there is someone i am interested in.

Cromotos
you have no idea . i am usualy the serious minded of the three of us there are times when a good prank or joke is needed but i am usualy the last one to get it.  
my own mother and sister pull pranks at times and have more of a laughing nature i have been known to tell a joke or two.  joy is a good thing to bring to the world and there is nothing wronge with being a social butterfly.
i think it's a good thing.
the numerology is cool i never realy had a mind for it so i think it is good that you do.
as for the hole talking thing that is you granted it may give you problems at times but it shows you are open and the fact that you like to make people laugh shows that you try to make the world a brighter place were ever you go. the world needs people like you. thinking of that and myself it reminds me of some of the Thorr and Loki sagas.
Thorr the always serious one and Loki the motor moulth of the gods.  

[b]
Cromotos
            there is something that you should know to the ancient norse ragnorak has already happend it coinsides with the mini ice age and the fall of the norse society. so don't worry about that part it is the second coming of Odinn to worry about.
Loki is not bad in any way that is why he was called the laughing god. heck in most of the tails he couldn't hold his own laughter and that is how he was usualy exopsed is he would expose himself. he wasn't a dishonest god to start it was when he was ordered to be by Odinn and the reason Loki helped oust Odinn is Odinn wasn't an honorable leader and would look for ways to get out of contracts he should have honored. just like it wasn't until the cristains tried to start demonizing the gods did loki get a bad rep and in the early times he was a god of magick not fire. the elemet of fire was in Thorr's province it was how they tried to get rid of Loki was to make him out to be like satan. Just like Thorr had his own hand in the fall of Odinn under the direction of the wyrd one, Fate the mother of all and nothing So Loki is quite fitting for you and i can see his unknown hand helps gide you so keep up the laughter my freind. through chaos is order the only thing you need to do is find the balance between to two.
The rune question is not that hard you should use the runes like a letter to the gods. what many don't realize or know is that it is beleaved and practactice to look upon the gods as powerful freinds.   to the old norse just a nod of the head was recognition of an equil that was the problem many of the norse had a problem with cristainity is they would never follow a god that put his followers on there knees. to the norse it was degrating to the divinity of the race of man. because within each of us is a spark of divinity. so with that said just use the runes as if you were talking to a freind. for that is what they are to us. that is the true differance between the gods and the Joitan or dark gods. the Joitan are the dark gods to the anceint norse. the runes are a form of comunication between man and gods. the writen word itself is power that is why the naming of something was such a big thing and is power in and of it self.
the naming of your sword i will have to think of perhapse meditate on and i will get back to you about that.

well that is why i seen a hawk when i thought about your sword. and the name i thought of was swift strike. it is a pretty blade and don't feel bad or down because it isn't a battle ready sword i have a few wall pretties too. just because they are pretties dosn't matter when it comes to ritual what matters is that it feels right to you. it's physical form maybe weaker than a battle sword but once it is awakened it's spirit maybe stronger than any other sword you could get your hands on. because it is yours you chose it and it chose you.
as for your rune question it is no problem at all but i should give you were the runes of man came from then it will help you understand them better. the letters or runes came from the mountains, trees, the sky,and the human body that is why they are angular.
in truth they were used like the way we use the letters of the english language. what most people forget is that most of the ancient societies were iliterate and just knowing how to read was something great and prized. so of course a type of mysticism sprang up with it also wich is how the writing was preserved. the best way i could show you is look at the rune stones they are akin to our writing but they are sacred stones. so use the runes like you would use a sheet of paper and writing a letter on it.
the old norse didn't know how to make paper so they used things they had readily avalable to them trees, stones, planks, bones it was what ever they had at the time then they would leave it somewere for the gods or burn it . by burning it the gods would know as soon as the materal was consumed. remeber they are our freinds. the runes are one of our connections to them. so if you need to ask the gods something or help or what ever charge the runes as you write them then do your ritual and burn it or leave it for them.