Blessings all,
I am a first time father and need ideas. My wife is of Helenic faith and I am Wiccan. How do we mix both our faiths in the upbringing of our daughter without forcing our beliefs upon her. I am a solitary practioner and would consider myself spiritual but not extremist. The same goes for my wife. We want to keep an open mind when it comes to which path my daughter travels but I am scared when she gets to school and when her friends ask her about " what did you get for christmas" and she has to reply "We dont celebrate christmas" and then is forced to explain. In todays climate of intolerance to people of our faith, I dont want to put her in potential harms way, but the thought of hiding my faith is very repugnant to me. I am a Very Poud Wiccan.  I think I would do her a disservice by just going along with things so she fits in but in turn I dont want to have her rebel against us just to cave in to peer pressure. So needless to say mixing the Circle in with the many festivals the my wife's faith should prove to be ineresting.
Our handfasting proved to be interesting enough.....lol

This just one of many fears I hold with the future of my child. Aprehension is a daily thing as the time of her arrival comes near. As time approaches, I find myself reading more books with varied results. I prefer to hear from actual people. I am hopeful that the Mother and the Father will guide me.

Thank you and Blessed Be,
Corum AKA Morgan Silverhawk

I'm wiccan. I celebrate Christmas with my family who aren't and they occasionally celebrate a solstice with me. My husband is agnostic  but I teach my son wiccan ways and encourage him to find his own spiritual truths. Peer pressure will be there at school no matter what. The important thing is that your daughter understands that there are many different ways to be in the world. The good thing about being wiccan is having something to celebrate every six weeks or so, so make them fun for her, cook food of the season with her and let her invite her friends to join in.  It's not about excluding things from her life but including them. You'll see the things that make her happy and the rest will just be trivial. All the best!

MoodyVoodoo said, "It's not about excluding things from her life but including them." Great point.

Teaching her the history of your spirituality and how it relates to current Christian practices will give her solid ground to stand on when confronted by peers and friends in society.

"Merry Christmas" is usually met by me and our very young daughters with "Happy Solstice!"...it totally throws them off guard, because immediately they have a good idea that you know more about why your holiday is spiritually significant, and, in turn, probably know more about the spiritual significance of their own then they do! But of course it's all in good intention. After all, aren't we all celebrating the promise of growing light, the end of long standing darkness, and resurrection of hope? Not to mention the solstice tree and significance of Christmas bulbs, giving of gifts during this time, etc.

Knowledge is power. If you give your children enough, they'll know why they stand for what they stand for. What better defense could there be?

My husband is a Christian and though he knows I am pagan and he is ok with it, I worry for our children too. One thing is that most Christian festivals originate from pagan roots so saying a 'Merry Yule' would just be a 'unique' greeting as would be something creative for Easter and Fall. Thanks to the commercial side of many festivals we can celebrate Halloween without being caught! The motifs are very similar too so just try to keep things neutral till she is at least 8-9 years old and begins to comprehend the world around her instead of imitation of her surroundings.

I would let my children understand the faith that they follow though they would obviously receive a teaching in both. As they grow you will see that children will themselves choose what resonates with the depths of their soul. And dont worry about fitting in because after a while she will learn respect for her parents' beliefs and her own and learn the art of discretion as well. With so many religions today (at least 10 major faiths I am aware of excluding Pagan/Wiccan ways) there are bound to be different children in her classroom and she can easily say that she celebrates Yule but on a  different day. As I grew older I remember saying it is a family thing.

Sorry I'm on a roll here because we have been thinking on the same lines recently and discussing a lot so though it is not immediate and conscious but it's there and both of us, me and hubby understand where you come from.It's natural but just take a day as it comes instead of worrying so much and you'll be just fine because after all, if the thought came to you there will come a solution.

I know that is silly for me to worry about these things so soon, but it was a general concern I had when I was presented with the news of the impending birth. We plan on teaching her the rich histories of both faiths. My wife's will take abit longer to explain. We do plan on making it a family affair and hopefully we can do a good job at it. I thank you all for your input so far. I truelly believe in the old saying "It takes a village to raise a child". With the insight I have seen here, I am emboldened and confident I will survive this....

Many Blessings,
Corum aka Morgan Silverhawk

Also I would try introducing lots of stories because before the years of 8-9 stories really work on the inner being and later transform into inner knowledge and with later stages of development undergo transformation yet again and manifest differently. Of course the tone of the stories would be important as we all know that there are hidden allegories in the olden fairytales because they weren't just fairytales! As an adult try to analyse and bring to your child what your intuition tells you in a certain way.

Start to compile things you think you would need in a book and later at the right stage you can bring them to your child. It seems like early planning but for your child you must find the best. I have started to pick out books and also plan to begin having a few illustrations by myself with just forms (no black outlines in the images). This may sound silly but when the child is just born and incarnating seeing harsher lines tends to jolt the child into reality instead of easing the child in. If I am not making sense please stop me.   Yvan actually bought home a book for me and our child - it's classic Bluebeard for children 4 years upwards but the illustrations are by this very special artist and I was amazed at what she had done with Bluebeard! An image speaks a thousand words and also stays in the memory of the child for life.

I would recommend a book (though it is not specifically for pagan parenting) but a good place. It is called - The Incarnating Child by Joan Salter. See if you can obtain it.

Greetings Corum,
Having been a teacher for several years, I can tell you that there are some advances at public schools, but you still have reason to be concerned. I had both a Jewish and a Wiccan student. Because I believe that everyone's spiritual path is unique unto themselves, I had no problems finding holiday decorations and cutouts for all of us. Our Wiccan child painted her angels' robe black with blue wings. Problem was, several of the other teachers questioned me as to why I would let her do so...they believed she should have been made to do it over. As beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I told them she had a right to represent beauty in the way she saw it. The day she started to talk to children on the playground about Mommy being a Wiccan, I did take a short walk with her to explain that most peoples spirituality was a rather private thing, and perhaps she should speak to Mom about it before she told all of the other children. We also lived in a very small rural town, and the family was new to the area.

Our class had a monthly National Geographic newsletter that happily came up with a theme of Holidays around the world showing most of the different religions, and how the winter celebrations  were celebrated close to the same time for everyone.  They all involved light and/or candle celebrations as the world came out of the darkest part of the year.
My feelings are that spirituality is truly one of the things that unfortunately still divide us. I wanted to protect my little Wiccan from the censorship that she was surely going to get from other teachers, children and parents, but wished so much that that protection shouldn't be necessary.  
Before I was a teacher, I was raising my children in Utah. It is a very straight theocracy baised state, in which there was a lot of prejudice if the family wasn't Mormon, active in the church, and paid up on their tithes. Their belief is that only when you join the church does God allow you to raise to the top, as cream in milk. As a result my daughter got a C in spelling even though she only missed two words all year, and I found no recourse when I went to the principal.  My husband coached little league and even though they won the the division, the team wasn't allowed to go to region, because he wasn't a Mormon Coach. We finally took our kids out and went to homeschooling, and also left the state to get our kids away from that nonsense.  But this is just an example that there is still a surprising amount of ignorance out there.  
I was told at University that religion was to be left out of school functions, but the actuality is that all things Christian are still endemic. It would certainly make it easier if it weren't so, but one of the easiest responses is, "Happy Holiday!"  "Boooooo!"  "Hippety Skippety"...whatever happy statement that allows them to join, but again teach them to glide cautiously with what is precious to them and you.

Wish it weren't so, but...
Tyche

no it's not silly
being a father myself i know your problems. what you should know is chrismas is pagan same with easter both are nordic holidays. in the way of chrismas it was actualy a five day festial starting at the winter solstic or night of specters usualy the 21 of december to the 25.
the night of specters is when the gods gather and hunt the dark spirits who got across the veil during the week of spirits. that is why the candle in the window is part of the tradition to keep bad spirits away. the chrismas tree and yule log is in honor of the world tree and the gifts it has given to all.
even santa clause is pagan it is Thorr in disguise. in the german dipictions of santa he carries a small tree well it is realy his hammer in disguise. he would bring gifts to honorable famlies. in some parts of iceland and scandanavia he is still called father Thorr. they just called the holiday yule.
As for Easter it is actualy the sacred festival of the godess Eastrea were eggs would be colored and left as offerings to her. easter baskets were given. the easter bunny is actualy her sacred animal the white hare or rabbit. it is a fertility celabration the egg is the sign of fertility. the cristans just took these holy days from the norse they turned Thorr into saint nick and they were able to get rid of Eastrae but not her bunny.  

I think with the right amount of education I maybe able to pull it off. I am just afraid with all the propaganda that is out there that she may get the wrong idea. I mean look at the movies that they have out there. I mean is there any movie that actually shows the craft in a good light. Ok, I can think of a couple, the Potter films and Practical Magic. Maybe I am just paranoid.

Lol corum your little one isn't even born yet?? Oh take a deep breath...she'll take the wheel and guide YOU more than you can imagine

Be well.

LOL, You are probally right.. But I figure better to worry about this now before she arrives than wait and add it to the mass of other worries that I have. But you maybe right though I maybe jumping the gun abit....LOL

you'll be a great dad  

Thank you. If I just have an ounce of the wisdom of the people here I am optimistic about the future.

Corum the best advice i can give you is that yes you have all these worries and fears but when you hold your child most of them fade rapidly away when you hold that little bitty thing in your arms for the first time you just need to resolve yourself that you will do the best job you can for that precious little one and that thhe child chose you for a reson. you will do well and if you need any advice of help just call me and i will lend what assistance i can.

Will Do...... Thanks