Hi all
I'm confused about how my boyfriend really feels about me.  He knows that Im a witch and that doesn't bother him.  What I am confused about is if I should stay with him, dont get me wrong I love him.  In recent days I have discovered that he has lied to me.  We met on a dating site on the net and now he is sending messages to other women there.  He states that it is harmless flirting.  He also saying that Im over sensitive about different things, and that he has never had a woman this sensitive or so giving.  I give all to the relationship Im in.  What I also feel that Im the only one trying in this relationship, the only one trying to keep the spark going.  So now Im confused on what to do.

I think if, you have already told him that you're uncomfortable with him flirting with women online, and he keeps doing it is spite of your feelings AND he's already lied to you about something else? Then, maybe he's not the right one for you.. It's not fair for you to be the only one that's trying in the relationship. Really sit down with him and talk to him about this, make sure to tell him everything you feel, so he knows the whole of your side. If he changes, then great, but if he doesn't then you tried all you could. You can't make someone care for you. He's not taking care of you by inspiring, maybe suspicion and hurt.

However, there's probably a million more people here, that know more about relationships than I do,

Mara

Honey, if he has lied about one thing what else would he lie about?  Trust is the most important thing in a relationship.  If you can not trust him can you be happy together?

Also he has shown that he has no respect for your feelings.  These two ingredients will only lead to heart ache down the road.  There are to many fish in the sea to settle for one that will not treat you with love, respect, and honesty.  My advice is to try and find some one who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

what he is doing is "harmless"  ?
and
what you are doing is "oversensitive"  ?

run!

far fast, and soon! (the run thing!)

If he has no commitment this soon into your relationship, how little will he have after time?

don't sound like a keeper to me, keep fishing, and find a better,safer spot to fish in while you're at it. (I know there are some on here who have found their one and only on the net, but that is usually not the norm, because on the net, i can be a CIA operative if I wanna be.

It sounds like you would like a monogamous relationship with your boyfriend.  It sounds like he has merely added another "trophy" (you) to his cabinet.  You give your all to your relationship and he fishes around in the internet?  Dear Wiccafrog, his "flirting" is hurting you and therefore is not harmless.  His opinion that it is harmless is telling you loud and clear that he does not care about your feelings.  I know only too well the urge to surrunder your dignity, your worth, your feelings, your career, whatever,  for the sake of your relationship.  I did, and I can tell you it is not worth it.  Cut your losses, keep your self-esteem, and demand better.

hi wiccafrog,

i find myself in a similar situation with "harmless" internet activities of my partner. i, however, am wearing his ring and raising our two children. it's difficult, the idea of "emotional pain", and how feelings and thoughts are so closely intertwined and feed off each other.

it's been 4 years since this reoccuring monster first reared its ugly head. Fighting it isn't an all-or-nothing thing, but I can chip away at it on a very specific basis. since i've chosen to keep the relationship, i've turned my attention to (to paraphrase acasia,) my dignity, my worth, my feelings, my career. Even more specifically, my joys, my goals, and my plans for my future. Not as he reinforces some vague idea of them, but as they stand alone with substance within me. It's a hard, long, ongoing lesson in patience and humility, but the ones worth learning do take process and time. In the meantimes, I delight in the sorrows, they let me know I'm alive. Sorrows reveal the richness and depth of this life experience, while depression brings me face to face with the disgusting aspects of my shadow self. I find this all to be worthwhile.

It's all a part of being, and if I am to truly free myself of these dark and desperate feelings, I must learn to fight and overcome them from within. You can run, but if the feeling exists inside, you can't hide. If you wish to use this situation to better yourself, specifically define exactly the situation from the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual perspectives, and I wish you well on unmasking the multi-layered demon that makes so many women feel walked-on-all-over, I'll see you on the battleground. If now is not the time for this type of confrontation, may you be aware of the peace and joy that fills your path as you travel onward.

It may very well be that we cannot control our circumstances, but we can observe them and learn from them. Wouldn't feel too helpless if confusion rules your thought processes lately, circumstances are ever-changing anyways, as are the opportunities available to us.

Be well,
Realeyez

I would like to thank you all for your advice
and to wish you a joyful and safe Yule time
love Wiccafrog xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx