Merry Meet to All! (this is my first post)
I just turned 50 on April 13th. I met up with my brother, his wife and their 17 year olds (quads) at my mom's on Easter Sunday. A "double" celebration if you will. My brother and his family are very religious Christians. My mother, not so much, and me, not at all. Early in life, I had been brought up Catholic. After my first Holy Communion, I basically dropped out of going to church anymore. My mother couldn't object because she never went herself. My father was the one who had us going to church, but he died when I was 8 years old. My brother and his family aren't Catholic, but some other strain of Christianity.
What bothers me is that my brother and his family gave me a book for my birthday entitled, "The Case for Faith" (his daughter previously had given me a book by the same author, "The Case for Christ".) I felt attacked and offended. I don't consider myself to be involved in a debate or argument about the validity of Christianity or any other religion. I think these books, judging by their titles, presumes that the reader needs to be convinced that Christianity is valid, or I dare say, "right". They also brought over to watch "The Passion of Christ" by Mel Gibson. My brother asked me in an accusatory tone if I had seen it yet.  Like it's something I should revere. I said I didn't and that I didn't want to see it either. They put it on anyway. I have nothing against Jesus. Why would I want to watch him suffering? Isn't Easter about him rising from the dead? A joyous occasion? I have no problem celebrating this nationally accepted holiday/event with family members. I believe Jesus was a wonderful man and teacher. I believe some things in the Bible are true, while a lot of things are not. For the most part, I believe it is antiquated and not meant to be taken literally. The codes for behavior were written for those time periods by men who believed women were substandard to men. We were meant to evolve, and we did. Instead of latching onto the essence of what Jesus taught, "Christians" have latched onto the Bible and twisted it around to whatever they have chosen to interpret from it, and say they are following Christ. I consider myself Wiccan. This is my path. I follow it to the best of my ability - and it comes naturally to me. There is nothing about Wicca that I find objectionable. However, I have not come "out" to my family members because I know that they think their religion and church is the ONLY way to go, and that the rest of us need to be taught that. So far, I only have told them that I believe in God. I don't feel they need to know how I get there. I treat it as a personal subject without giving them details. Evidently the limited information I have given them warrants giving me these books. If I told them I was Wiccan, they would probably try to do an intervention. They equate Wicca with Satanism, as many other ignorant people do. I have told my brother in the past, that I do not believe in the devil or hell, per se. My brother was shocked and told me the devil makes me think that. I can deal with my brother and his family as long as we don't talk religion at all. My problem is that they seem to be pushing me harder to accept their beliefs, without provocation from me, and it is building up pressure in my head. I feel I may be at the crossroads to where I must "out" myself, at the expense of family ties with them. I'm already feeling I'm in a position of having to defend myself, and I haven't even told them yet what I believe. I think I rightly anticipate being ruthlessly attacked about my beliefs. I don't want to subject myself to that. I'm already being judged by them. They think that whatever I believe, (even though they don't know what it is or anything about it), that it cannot be the "right" way to believe. I hate arguing with someone who doesn't, nor would take the time to research the other side of the argument to facilitate an intelliegent exchange. Maybe I should find some books to give him....as a gesture, because, as I said, he would not read them. he'd probably BURN them.
I don't know how to end this...I guess I just needed to get this off my chest. Thank you for reading my post. I look forward to getting to know you!
Blessed Be to the Lord and Lady, who together, constitute my God.
Bright Blessings to all at this website!
Love,
Kathirteen

Hi Kathirteen,
         Pleased to meet you.  I know where you're coming from.  My family is the same way though I don't think as pushy as yours.  I generally keep my thoughts to myself, but I think that if they're pushing you with their beliefs to the point that you're uncomfortable at family gatherings, then you should speak up for yourself.  What have you got to lose....another gathering filled with negativity?  And don't feel that you have to defend yourself, you would be giving them power.  Rise above them, show them the proper way to talk to other people with different religious beliefs, talk to them with respect, and maybe feel sorry for them.  Either they don't really believe what they teach, or they're on the defensive,  "The case for Christ"???  Who are they trying to prove this to?

Welcome to the forum, Kathirteen.

I am Jewish, so I have a bit of an outsider's perspective on this. We treat religion in an entirely different manner than what many Christians, especially Protestants tend to.  I think the "flavor" of Christianity your brother belongs to emphasizes a powerful intuitive relationship with the Divine. There is nothing wrong with this, but the manner in which this intuitive emphasis developed is a bit misleading.

As a result of the "democratization" of Christianity with the Protestant Reformation and the seemingly irrevocable battle with science, many Christians have come to view a personal, intuitive relationship with the Divine as in polar opposition to the more hierarchical, intellectual path of religious scholarship. It threatens many Christians to feel that they need to learn Hebrew, Greek, and Latin, as well as study thousands of years of history to have a relationship with the Divine. Many Christians do not realize that intuition and intellectualism do not need to be enemies. In Judaism, as well as Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism, the profound systematic study of a religion and its history is viewed as sharpening and stegnthening one's intuitive relationship with the Divine. I am a firm believer in studying religious system other than my own, and have found the experience to provide be with a richer and stronger foundation for my personal spirtituality. I feel greatly sorry for those who fear learning about the beliefs of others, as they are limiting their spiritual growth.

When Christians offer me religious material, I generally don't get offended. First, conversion is an important part of their religion; it's just something many (especially Protestants) feel that they need to do. Someone talking to me about the benefits of their religion and giving me a book or a pamphlet is not going to force me to convert. I respect their beliefs, and accept that they are simply behaving in a manner considered normal in their religious institution. I've always found the idea of actively trying to convert people fascinating because it is something Jews simply don't do.

Also, if per chance a person is givng me material or speaking to me because of a true concern for my soul, I do appreciate the thought and concern.  I am not saying that everyone who evangelically pushes Christianity is of this category, but I do know that their are many Christians who are, and I respect this.

ka, rather than being offended by their straightforward approach to your conversion, try looking at them as "uneducated" and start from there. �First of all, since they have taken such a heavy hand toward you, I would be straightforward with them as well. �Don't just tell them that you don't believe in Satan or that you believe in God. �From a Christian standpoint (and I was a devout one for 3 decades!) it sounds like you are a "backslidden Christian" that just needs a push in the right direction. �Tell them about the God you believe in. � Explain to them in a gentle manner that your belief makes you happy just as their's does for them and that you are upset every time they try to make you believe their way. �
Mr. K, my hubby-wubby, is a Muslim, as was I two years ago. �He still tries to throw a little question in there for me. �I tell him, flat-out, that no one will make me believe what I don't want to or canNOT believe. �There are reasons I believe the way I do, and it has nothing to do with him. �Don't let them feel that they are complete failures just because they can't add you to the list of people they've "brought to the light". �
At some point, ka, this is going to come out. �How it does, however, depends on how you approach it. �Tell them the truth. �They will be shocked, offended, disgusted, whatever they want to feel. �If they truly love you, they will get over it in time. �Mr. K told me the other day that he worries about my afterlife. �I told him not to worry about that as every faith has a different viewpoint on the afterlife. �Worry about how you ACT in this life, not what you believe, I said to him, and the afterlife will take care of itself, no matter what faith you are in. �
The other day, somewhere on the net, I saw that there was a book for Non-Pagans on how to deal with their Pagan friends and family (from the Pagan perspective). �I ignored it because I don't really think I need it, so, I apologize that I have forgotten the title. �

Ka, welcome!! I completely agree with sea. It might take some time, but if they love you, they will get over it. I was a practicing christian for many years as well and have met some truly wonderful friends that, while they don't agree with my choice of religion now, they are still my friends and love me for me. Just keep right on living your life and hopefully they will see that this is the right path for you. And if not, then feel sorry for them that they are the ones missing out on you!

Hello, Kathirteen, and blessings.

Those that know me here know I am Christian.   I believe we let others see in us what we believe.  I have a very special person in my life who is Pagan and I wouldn't want them to be anything other than who they are.  
I came to this site to learn and better understand.  It is difficult for Pagans to be open and I believe it is due to ignorance and that is a shame.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do, but if they are "true" Christians, they will continue to love you and not make you feel as such an outcast.  

Christians are supposed to live as Jesus did.  That being the case, they will love you and not judge you.

Maybe you are thinking of this book Seamonster.  My mom bought it a long time ago and it is a good book for any one coming out of the broom closet to buy for a concerned loved one.  When Someone You Love IS Wiccan

It is very clear one what  Witchcraft is and is not.  it acknowledges the fear some people may feel for their loved ones and assures them it is a peaceful religion and a very spiritual way of life.  I read my mothers copy and was really quite impressed.

Yep!  That's the one.  Thanx, Indigo.   It looks like it might be a very good way to introduce one's faith without announcing it so loudly.

Merry Meet Kathirteen:

Welcome and I am sorry that your family is doing this to you.  There is great advice that has been given to and I have a little bit to add also. *LOL*  One thing I do when dealing with negitive or people like this is to make sure I have on my being somewhere some type of stone to ward off the negitivity and to add protection and peace.  Generally I wear a hemitite ring with amber.  Secondaly my mother and son are devote Catholics and my Dad was a strong Catholic but they knew about me.  I think the way my Mom deals with it is to ignore it but she sees my altars at home and often buys things for my "Irish" places.  My Father always prayed for my soul and was also worried about my afterlife but then on hte other hand was always telling people I was a White Witch.  Go figure.  It may or maynot work for you but I just go about doing this and that as always and I live my path.  I have a wild garden don't kills insects (much) do a lot of organic things.  They accept me but it is an unwritten thing.  Kind of like don't ask don't tell. *S*  I help my Mom and son out at their church things and when people push me I usually say something like I am a spiritual person and that if God made the Whole world then it shouldn't matter where I talk to whom ever I talk to.  Or I will also tell them to prove to me that theirs and mine is different.  Once in awhile Mom's priest will go after me to hear my confession ( I was baptised in the Catholic religion)  I just tell him it isn't ever goin gto happen and I have long ago made peace with whatever I have done in my past and am willing to deal with it when the time comes.  This usually shuts him up.  AS said here above, you will probably have to tell them eventually and they are probably going to be in shock for awhile but hopefully they will see you are still you and that no matter what you believe you are still a member of the family.  Maybe an outlaw but still theirs .   remeber we are always here to help you out and offer you support. . This is a great bunch.

Love and Laughter
~Raveness~

Thank you all for replying!
Each of you have a very unique perspective - and I appreciate that. I hope it didn't sound like I was bashing ALL Christians...
That book sounds good - I'll have to get it.  After thinking about this more, I've decided that it isn't important to me for them to know what I believe. It's not like I have to live with them. At the same time, I'm not going to pretend to believe the way they do either. I've always respected their beliefs, which is probably why I've gotten so indignant that they have decided to pry into my Spirituality "and show me the error of my ways..."  It's infuriating
I agree that they are probably just doing what they are expected to do within their religion, which is to "spread the word", and they probably do view me as a backslid Christian, even though I "backslid" 40 years ago. It just floors me how they can't see how offensive this is. What happened to "Do unto others..."?  They certainly wouldn't like it, nor stand for it, if someone from another religion tried to impose their beliefs upon them.  
What I will do, is first, get my anger under control. Then maybe I'll give those books to my mother, who, by the way, also does not go to church (yet doesn't receive these types of "gifts"), and IS Godless. In fact, if anyone in this world is evil - it's her.
Thanks for letting me vent!
Blessings,
kathirteen

I have to say that that has always been my problem with Christianity. I have read the bible many times and in fact sometimes do get comfort from reading those words. But it was interpreted by man for man and someone is always interpreting it to fit their beliefs. Christianity is the bloodiest religion in the world and the only one where over half the followers spout " If you don't believe the same as I do, well then you're going to hell." I have a hard time believing that they are quoting the same book that I've read.
I truly believe that how we live our lives and how we treat our fellow man determines what step we take into the afterlife. Do I know what step that is? No. But I know that I'm a good person. My kids know that and so does my mom.
Sorry about the rant. I'll get off my soapbox now! LOL

You're not alone. My family likes to make fun of me for believing that we all come from a source, cycle through a lifetime, and return to said source. ludacris! lol

I'd read the books they gave you, watch the movies they want you to so badly see, then when they try to debate, you've got ammo. Not only will you know exactly where they're coming from, but you'll already know exactly what you think about it, and will be confident in your answers as they fumble around for bible quotes that don't equate. Knowledge is power  

If you forsee a battle approaching, gear up! and enjoy and embrace every excrutiating, uncomfortable moment of it, it's what we're here to do

That's exactly right!!! I love to be able to shock them when I can quote the bible!! I have never seen nor do I want to see the Passion. I can read, I know what happened. My imagination is vivid enough without seeing in film form!!
To be able to not only quote but debate, that's just downright fun for me!! LOL