Well as everyone should know by now Trinityphoenix and I are getting married and trying for a baby... well this month was a bust we think.. after she took already 3 prego tests and all them neg.. we are thinking we will have to try again next month...

 Things have been chaotic here with the relationship.. we were totally excited when we both started to dream about the baby... and both really felt in our hearts she was prego..  

 I feel at times that i have failed her... it has been a real emotional roller coaster with us.. not to mention i am starting a new job tues and although its a great paying job thats just more money we have to dish out for my fuel for my car till i get paid in 2 weeks..  not to mention my x wife started to act like a butt when i moved here to be with Trinityphoenix... but she is starting to calm down a bit now that Trinityphoenix and I bought some items and sent them and cash to my X...

I am just scared that we are starting to grow apart... its like there is a wall between us now.. and i have honestly no clue what caused it.. things were going great between us.. and then Blamo.. it just happened... i know with her being 21 and me being 30 there is a Huge generation gap there and we both are kinda set in our ways about things.. i am just hoping and preying that it will smooth over once we get out of this one bedroom apt and have more room.. Also we are in the works to start taking my X wife to court for full custody of my 5 month old daughter... and i feel that maybe Trinityphoenix isn't honestly ready for that.. or she is just scared that my daughter (Beth) won't like her... hell i have no clue...

Its just hard for me here... i moved here without knowing anyone in the area... so i have nobody to just call or text or meet up with for coffee when i need to talk.. and because of that i have been up Trinityphoenix's Tail feathers since i got here... and i am sure that is a factor in the problems in our relationship...

anyway... i guess i am done with my "pitty party" just needed to vent about things... and maybe y'all can offer some advise... or throw some prayers our way...

*gives you each a big cookie*  I'm not sure how much I can help or what advice I can give.  Given I'm only 22, but have you talked to her about all these things? I just asking cause that's what first came to mind. Also, it could just be an issue needing some space, not in a break up sense, but in a little time apart.  My boyfriend and I both work odd schedules. Mine's "normally" Monday-Saturday  and his is "Thursday-Sunday", so we don't get to see each other quite as much as we'd want, but I think that keeps us from biting the other's head off. lol  If you haven't just try talking to her about it and see if any of that is bothering her.


Hope that helps a little

Bramble

Every relationship goes through tough times.  It all depends on how much you two are willing to take to make it through it.   It does get better...and the it gets worse...and then its gets better again.  That's the way of it, and usually, (from my own experience), the worst times come in situations of change, which is just where you are now.  Change is tough for anyone, but you get used to it, you push through it and move with it.  Nothing ever stays the same (Thank Goddess!!!)

As for the age difference, that's nothing, and it really bothers you more than it does her.  I know because I am ten years older than my husband.  From my point of view, I feel like a totally different generation than Mr. K.  I worry that he will find someone younger, cuter, tighter, what have you...lol.  But, I know he feels so different.  He doesn't see me the way I see me.  Besides, he's more mature than most men his age.

Trinity shouldn't worry about your girl liking her.  If she likes the girl, thats all that matters.  If this is the 5 month old in question, then she will see Trin as Mom.  That's it.  
Some of the stress right now (as I see it from an outsider's point of view--and having a very jealous stance with my own husband   ) might have something to do with the ex's influence.  Even if it isn't "friendly", still, she has your daughter and that is a tie to you.  We go through the same thing.  Mr. K doesn't like me to talk to my ex, even though he's got custody of my three kids.  

Anyhoo, that's my two cents, for what its worth.  If y'all are serious, it will be okay!!

To start with, dealing with ex's can be a royal pain (even without kids- been there done that). What's the ex so fired up about? Just curious. Is it that you moved further away from your daughter? Or is it that you've moved on and found someone else? How far away are you from your daughter now? I only ask because these things can have some significance. Regarding the perceived "wall" between you and you girl- all I can tell you is you absolutely have to maintain open communications with each other for the relationship to work my friend. You stated that you feel like you failed her. I'm sure I don't need to remind you that YOU have a child already. And here's where the communication comes in: Have you ever thought that Trinitypheonix feels insecure or like she's failed you? Ask her. You need to let her know how important she and her feelings are to you. You may need to reassure her that she has your eternal love and devotion. Marriage is a two way street. Its not just about you, its not just about her. Its a road that once embarked on requires constant maintenance to ensure it stays smooth with a minimum of bumps.  Most importantly though you just have to be very open and honest with each other about what bothers you, why that something bothers you, and show each other the love and respect needed to keep your relationship growing stronger. Like Seamonster said: ALL relationships have ups and downs. The good times are easy to get through. Its how you deal with the not so good times that will ultimately dictate the outcome of your relationship. As far as your girl being ready to assume the role of stepmother: Your daughter is a part of you. If she truely loves you then she will love your daughter. My personal feelings on that are that you & your daughter are a package deal. Your daughter needs her daddy to be a part of her life. Trinitypheonix is an adult and needs to understand this. If she's not ready for your daughter, then she's not ready for you. Lastly, its always tough moving to a new area. When you begin your new job, you'll meet people and make new friends through common interests or hobbies. Just be patient. You've gone through a lot of major changes in your life and all in a relatively short time: a new baby, a new job, a new girlfriend/fiance, a new home- that's a lot of stuff to pile onto one plate my friend. Good luck and I hope my words help somewhat.

Blessed Be.

Draco