Ok. My problem at the moment is my two kiddos. They are fighting constantly. And when I say fighting, I do mean that in the literal sense of the word. They scream at each other, throw punches and all the good fun stuff.  They are 11 and 14.
This constant fighting has my nerves stretched so tight that I feel like a rubber band fixing to snap! They each got a small taste of what that will be like the other day, so you would think that they would learn. But do they??? HELL NO!!. It seems like it's worse now than before I had "MY" temper tantrum on the both of them.
So what do I do at this point? I was thinking that a nice shovel and big hole would do the trick but then I would have to explain to their dad  

But seriously. Does any body have any advice on how to deal with the feuding siblings? I do not think that this is just a case of sibling rivarly. They genuinely seem to hate each other. HELP!!!!!

*hugs*  I can't give you any advice besides the shovel, but you could attempt to try and see WHY they are fighting in the first place.  Are they just both grumpy over something, or is it possible one's jealous over something the other has?  That's just my thoughts though.

Something tells me they are both boys.  Boys reach a difficult stage of their life around 13 or 14.  They enter a more social, self-conscious phase, finding themselves stuck in purgatory between childhood and adulthood.  Then the flood of testosterone makes a mess of everything.  If I'm guessing correctly, the older one is taking a good part of his angst out on the younger one, who himself is possibly approaching the same stage.  Boys of the same aproximate age, especially siblings in the same household, tend to mirror each other's behavior.  I don't have children of my own, but I know plenty of folks who are not as fortunate.  My two nephews--the same approximate ages as your children--have the same symptoms.  My brother and I did the same thing.  (Dad started drinking and Mom had a nervous breakdown.)  They really should come out of it eventually, although I wouldn't get rid of the shovel just yet.  Good luck.

Blessings.
Monk

I remember a coworker once telling me that when he and his brother used to fight, his father MADE them hug each other. Not just a hug that lasts a few seconds, but for hours . So long that they would at least think twice about fighting just to avoid the hugging sanction. This worked on my kids (of course they were a little younger than yours are and both are girls). I'm assuming your 2 kids are boys? What do they fight over? Is it usually over a particular issue- say a girl or something that happened at school? Maybe its a little more primative and one is trying to establish dominance or keep from being dominated? Try the hugging thing. Then, if that doesn't work, a shovel isn't such a bad idea. But not in the way you're thinking. While one of them is digging a big hole (and I mean a BIG hole), the other stands in a corner until the hole meets your specifications. After the hole is dug, they switch positions. The one that was digging stands in a corner and the other now puts all the dirt back in the hole. Do this for a couple days straight. They'll be very sore and very tired. This will get very old to them very quickly- especially on the 2nd day of digging. By the way, what does dad say about all this? The discipline dispensing shouldn't only fall on you. Good luck.

Blessings,

Draco

PS: If neither of those ideas helps, then I'm all for that alternative use for that shovel

Draco

Wow, me and my brother fought constantly when I was around 12 or so.  Mom just made us take it outside so we wouldn't tear the house up.  All I can tell you is when they do get to brawling make 'em take it outside and go get yourself a bug cup of coacoa and keep in mind that they will outgrow it in time.  Kids will be kids.

Well, after talking to my oldest one last night, it does seem to be a case of dominance in the household. Dad is not in the house, he's with the new wife. I have tried the hugging thing. Didn't work. It just put them within punching range! I like the digging a hole idea. That one might actually work.
I am just so tired of the fighting every day.  

My oldest son has suggested that I buy them boxing gloves and go at it. Hmmmm......I wonder if Dad's insurance would cover that?
And yes, they are both boys. I can only hope that they grow out of it.

Thanks everyone. Keep the advice coming!

Sibrei, I know what you're going through.
I have 2 boys at home, ages 11 and 17.  The 11 year old teases the 17 year old endlessly.  But the rule of this house is 'nobody has the right the put their hands on anybody else'.  My 11 year old has to learn that teasing and jokes can go too far.  But I'm sure that all my discussions and punishments   will end that phase......soon I hope.   Draco.....I love the hugging idea.  Might try that next time.

Hehe I remember my childhood lol, I had a bleeding nose because my sister hit me once. Not to mention all the scars I have on my hand because of the scratches. �
It's the age indeed, when they are so young they can freak out soooo easy, I was one of them once and now I'm the most calming person in the house. �

Did you already try aromatherapy in the house? You can burn some incensce or oil from lavender or chamomile - they say those are great herbs for kids.

Maybe they have other problems, f.e at school or fights with friends... brothers and sisters are the first ones to hear it... or in this case, feel it. It could be a good idea to have a conversation with them both (maybe each in private) and ask them if everything is alright? The first thing they will say is ''I'm ok'' but if they may not leave the kitchen untill they say what's wrong... it could be possible that the ''ok'' turns into something else.

Though they would really hate it, maybe a family day/evening could be a good idea, once a week. They will truely hate it, but once they accept it - it could bring the boys more close and respectful to each other.

Gloves and a punching bag hung somewhere out of the way of breakables.  When they want to fight make them go to the bag instead of going after each other....who knows that might be the thing they need because in order to use one of them, as far as I know, you have to have the other hold it steady unless it's in a spot where it can swing a little.

I like your idea Draco. Its boring, so they have time to think, and its physically exhausting, so they will be tired too.

Greetings,

Some prescribe feeding  them so full that they are too overwhelmed to put out much effort, though that only makes for tubby children.  My grandfather always prescribed the old-fashioned solutuion-work.  If they have enough energy to expend on each other, then they have not done enough work to exhaust themselves thoroughly.  Do you have a garden?  If you lived in the country, you could make them bale hale or maybe find someone who needs help baling.  Log cutting, anything that gets the blood flowing.  It teaches self-sufficiency and solves a world of head-aches!

Lady Tamara.

Oh how I wish I lived in the country! That would make things so much easier. But alas. I don't. So I am forced to come up with new ways to torture ( I mean discipline) my children.
I love all the ideas though.