Anyone ever have those days where you just feel so overwhelmed like you arnt gonna get anything finnished? Im supposed to be cleaning the house right now, and I just dont want to . I have no motivation... Its dark outside and I cant sleep. Its almost like theres something on my mind thst I cant figgure out. like something is bothering me. An itch I cant scratch type thing. IDK maybe im just ranting becasue im emotinal.  I just sat down for a minute to take a breather.
about an hour ago which was midnight I had my front door open taking trash out to the car to take to the dump. I turned my back and when I turned around this dude was in the door and asked if he could borrow my phone. I was like dude get out of my house I dont have a phone you can use, the he asked if i had a joint. I was like NO GET OUT OF MY HOUSE. he was like well are you moving do you need help... I was like dude get out of my house for the last time. Mike was asleep with the bedroom door shut and the fan going so he didnt wake up. Sigh I dont feel safe in my own house anmore. Guess its time to do a protection spell in this apartment. I had one in my other apt and it worked very nicely. Anyway I need to stop rambeling and get back to cleaning the house... BTW my engaugement ring should be in tommorow or Tuesday. Yeppy... Ill post pics as soon as I get it....

Trinity, the first thing you need to do is file a police report and give them the best description you can of your "visitor". Will they catch the guy? Probably not right away. However, he could be running the same routine on other people who aren't as assertive as you were in getting him to leave. And once he gains access to your or someone else's home, who knows  what he may do. Nobody should be made to feel unsafe in their own home! Other people may have had similar dealings with this person and reported it and gave a description of him to the police. If nothing else, know this: it is likely that his suspicious activity will escalate to criminal activity (if it hasn't already). Do yourself a favor and file a police report on this guy. At the very least, ask yourself this: do I really want this person paying me another visit when I'm alone with my baby? As a law enforcement officer I'm urging you to file the report. I'm affraid my advise on your visitor ends there- because as a dad, my advise would come from a much darker place and the police wouldn't be involved
With regard to your restlessness, it sounds like there is definitely something bothering you. The late night cleaning thing at first glance reminds me of a nesting instinct of sorts. The lack of motivation to actually get the cleaning done says (to me) you're depressed or at least preoccupied about something. In your last post, you said you were trying to get pregnant. Has there been some development in that part of your life? Not trying to be nosey or anything sweetie. Best advise I can offer is to face your problems head on, address them as best you can (with help if necessary) and put them to rest so you can move on with your life. If you repress your feelings (especially strong ones) long enough, they can resurface down the road and manifest themselves in odd ways (sometimes as physical symptoms). Hope you're well.

Blessings,

Draco

thanks im going to call the cops right now...

wow cops here are quick to judge. They thought I was a druggy becasue I have tattoos and piercings. they said the reason I didnt call lastnight is becasue I was smoking... Sigh*

Not all are quick to judge sweetie. If the officer wouldn't take your complaint, then ask to speak to his supervisor. I would also make it known to the watch commander how offended you were by that officer's assumptions. Just bare in mind that law enforcement is a thankless field of endeavor. Sometimes police officers can become numb to the endless complaints they receive. Its not that they don't care, the workload can sometimes be very overwhelming. But that's not an excuse for being unprofessional. Just as you felt pre-judged, don't make the same mistake and pre-judge all police officers. I'll be the first to admit that not all cops are chior boys to say the least. But we're not all like that. When I'm out of uniform, I look like a biker from the neck down. Only clue that there's more to me is my haircut. Be as non-judgemental toward others as you want them to be toward you. "Be the change you wish to see in the world"-Gandhi. Hope things get better for you sweetie.

Blessings,

Draco

since I last posted I got the urge to deepclean and rearrange furniture....    very unlike me. I have also had high energy for the past 4 nights, thats when I get the most of my cleaning done minus vacuming...  I find myself sitting at my desk looking at the kitchen floor thiking yuck I need to sweep and mop again and the smell of floor cleaner is still strong.  Its almost like im another person. IM becoming organized. NOw everything has its place. Even my desk is scary organized. minus the few coke cans I have been constantly burning dragons blood incents becasue they are my favorite. I wish glade would come out with dragons blood plugins and spray. that would be sooo neat... I wish I could go to sleep but my body is telling me NOOO you have to clean.... clean.... clean...

It is so nice to hear you speak so, Draco.  I know that not everyone understands the personal responsibility to report a crime on the basis that it may happen to someone else.  It is a type of violation of the Good Samaritan Act to not inform of someones misdemeanors.  They need help and law enforcement is not always about conviction.  I was taught this by police in our parish (Jewitch).  Being Marian/Wiccan, I was afraid of an Italian in our church.  Just his looks said vampire all over it and I did not need any birthmarks.  I guess somewhere along the way we developed an understanding.  Now I only think of him "Taking a bite out of crime" as Sargent McGruff says.  He still does not believe in witchery even though a priesthood is admonished, though he had came to terms with who I am as an individual.  I have to confess that I am an established closet "witch" as we are not to be stumbling blocks to others in the path.  I was quite adamant about all of it when I was younger and considered anyone who opposed a Satanist against those of the Old Ones.  Lerning clerical terms helps a great deal.  It is nice to meet someone with an understanding of the law, yet bearing an interest in the mystic.

Blessed Be,

Lady Tamara.

Thanks Lady Tamara. I too am in the closet regarding my spiritual path. My parents always taught me to treat people how I would want to be treated. And that to me includes being non-judgemental. I'll be the first to admit its difficult, very difficult at times, to be non-judgemental. All I can do as a human being is give it my best shot. Sometimes the general public seems to forget that law enforcement personnel are as human as the next person and are subject to the same range of human emotion as anyone else. We all endure everyday life pressures from sources outside the scope of our jobs in addition to having to address the problems we're called to respond to (all while being held to a higher standard of conduct in the name of professionalism). The low life that Trinity encountered is a good example. Had that bottom feeder shown up on MY daughter's front door step, there's a 50/50 chance that he WOULD BE found in gator country (well, parts of him anyway ). So you see, we all have a dark side locked up inside us. All it takes is the right combination of circumstances to unlock that door it hides behind and set it loose. I once read on a t shirt (one of my favorites ): that the definition of stress is "When the mind overrides the body's natural inclination to choke the hell out of some asshole who really deserves it".

Blessed be,

Draco