Now you may wonder why I am putting this in such a public place, but to share is to heal, to heal is to share.
(Moved from the intro thread, not the place I wanted it!)

Dear Mother,

So often we are told we will turn ut to be just like our parents. If we come from a loving, supportive family we in turn we loving and supportive. If yuo come from a troubled broken home, you will inturn create a troubled and broken home. We create what we know. If we've not known it, how can we ever hope to create it?

I am here today, January5, 2008 to stand tall and proud to say WE HAVE BEEN TOLD WRONG!!! WE HAVE BEEN DECEIVED!!! How many countless lives would have been different if  they had no been fed false truths!??? How many have not had the courage to stand up and shout I WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOUR FALSE TRUTHS! I SHALL CREATE WHAT I HAVE NOT BEEN TAUGHT!!! How many are no longer with us due to this false truth?


I am here today, January 5, 2008 to stand on the top of the highest mountantop and shout I HAVE CREATE THAT WHICH I WAS NOT TAUGHT!!!!! Your Mother never knew who her Mother was, a lifelong unknowing that all you life she was there, just not who she thought they was. You never grew up with your Mother, knowing full well who she was, but being raised by a Matrical Grandmother who turned into your Mother, no paper anyways. I grew up never really knowing My Mother. I was given glimpses into her. These only giving me lifelong anguishes I could have done without, but in each one of those nightmarish glimpses, I grew strength. I was not defeated by the demons as you were. I was stronger!!!

I have raised my daughter!! From her birth, to the birth of her child. Here stand before the All 3 new generations of my Mothers lineage. Never again to see such weak links in what should be an unbrakeable bond of womendom.


We are reborn.

I am reborn. I see now I am, despite what was.


My dear demon, Abandoning Mother, you have not won, in fact you are no more. You may have won out over past generations, but the generations to come shall never have you darken their doorstep ever again!


I banish you forever more.


BE GONE


SO MOTE IT BE!!


So, to end this eye opening letter, dear Mother, I just wanted to take a minute of your spiritual time and tell you, despite it all, I still love you, but I will never, ever want to be you.


One other thing, despite it all, I love you, and I miss you.


Carol Elaine
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Our life is our making. We are the creators, and we have exactly what we have created in our lives. If you do not like your life, then change it. If you do not change it, then you must like it.

Novia I cried as I read that.  I heard the strength in your voice, as you proclaimed that, even though it wasn't read aloud.  It brings me comfort strength and faith in the face of some demons in my life, surely if you could overcome something so great I can leap my tiny hurdles!  Congratulations on the birth of your grandaughter, and may your daughter be every bit as good a mother to your grandaughter as you were to her, womanhood and maternal instincts are alive and well!

"I was not defeated by the demons as you were. I was stronger!!! " Thank you for this line. It lights my torch at an advanced stage of healing, a securely fit stone atop my re-created foundation of truth, wisdom, virtue.

I shout with you, Novia, - "I HAVE CREATED THAT WHICH I WAS NOT TAUGHT!!!!!"

I am empowered and relieved.

(Happyfeet)  I'm very very glad realeyez! (ok gotta shorten that name a bit, lol!)

realeyez is my name, realeyez the phoenix is my command lol

break it down funky penguin  (Happyfeet)

Having read your letter I applaud you. It is very hard to break the chain. I know. I grew up with an alcoholic grandmother and mother. I grew up hating my grandmother when I should have been learning from her. As far as my mother goes, that is an ongoing story in of itself. I am an only child and am now having to care for her due to her serious health problems. But I have broken the chain. I am not an alcoholic, my kids have not had to deal with the issues that I have had to and hopefully, they will both turn into very responsible, strong, caring men. I tell them everyday that I love them and they both get lots of hugs.(Though now with one being 14, that's just not cool anymore!). I have come to the realization that while I love my mother, I do not like her very much. Now that I'm grown and she's finally started being sober, now she wants to be my "mother" and friend. She just doesn't get it. The only thing that she really taught me was how not to be and I am a stronger person for it. Sorry this seems to be so long, I could probably write a book about me and her. But once again, Novia, I applaud you and your letter!!!!!

From strife comes strength. From desparation(sp?) comes determination. I too know disfunction and addiction from a non-addict veiw. Bravo!! Hooraa, Go team!!

Wow, Novia. That was empowering and beautiful!  

*hugs*  Way to go!

Though I can not think the same of my Mother. I can put my Father in it's place. The things he did to my sister and I behide closed doors, and then the way he behaved in front of others. Living a life of 2 faces. I forgave him years ago, but I have not and will not forget. I see the world through different eyes and all that has taken place has made me stronger for it.

An it was his Father that taught him his ways.

But I stand tall and say " I created my own way, my own trueth, and have ended that which was a lie."
I think that the only thing I wish that hadn't been destory by it is the fact that I don't speak much with that side of the family. When all was said and done it broke that connection. I have sat many a day wondering if it can be repaired. But in the end No it can not. So I stopped wasteing the time on it and looked to the new family my hubby and I have created. It is a good thing. An my childern will not know of the lies and falsehoods. They know of trueth, honesty, and real love.

Thank you for shareing this. An it is true "to heal is to share and to share is to heal". In shareing of these things helps other know that they are not alone.

Blessings of all Colors!!!

Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue.  Realize the strength and move on.  --Henry Rollins