greetings everyone. there has been something bothering me for a while now and i was just hoping someone could talk with me about it if maybe they could relate in the past few weeks i have come to realise what has been happening in my life. I began to study the art of magick holding true to my beliefs and following the ethics set forth back in october of 2000. over the years however, i lost sight of my ethical code and strayed into various magick systems such as kaos magick, sangomancy, and various other forms that pretty much threw the ethics i once held high away. I lost sight of many of my previous goals and have honestly learned alot from it, but i have mostly learned that following the path in your heart and holding true to your goals and ethics is very important to furthering yourself. I have slowly began to rebuild the bridges and have decided to bury my previous grimmoire due to the large amount of content that went against what i found to be my ultimate desire. I have began to rewrite the book and i have also decided to retake the period of a year and a day to show my devotion and prove to myself and the lord and lady that this is what i trully desire. I am unsure as to if what i went through was the dark night of the soul so-to-speak because it lasted for a year of two, because i began to question many things. I have set forth to rediscover myself and to reach the goals i have set forth. Deep within myself, i believe that rebeginning my studies holding high my morals and goals is the proper thing to do, I am still bothered when i think back to my initiation ceremony after my original year and a day had passed, where i vowed to the lord and lady that the use of my knowledge and ability would be set forth to harm none and i basically went against my word and values. i am unsure how i should try to rebuild that bond and show my word is true and my desires are pure. if anyone has any advice on the situation or thoughts about it, please message back. thank you for your time and blessed be.

There are many people here with alot more wisdom than I.  With that being said, it seems to me like you have made up your mind to begin a walk down a new path and that is what I believe life is all about, we live, we do things, we learn what we like, what we don't like and then we can either change it or continue....Your choice to change is just another choice...Life beats us up enough, you are walking down a different road now, smile, enjoy the energy, you deserve it!!!

With Love and Light,
Lavendar-Ice

The realization that you NEEDED to come back is a blessing in itself.  I think that in any faith, those who "go away" from it and then, realizing that they've made a wrong turn, come back, return much stronger than many others who have grown complacent in their beliefs.

There are two sides of magick, the light and the dark.  You can never truly know the light without knowing the dark.  Don't forget the lessons you learned while experimenting with the dark.  They will serve to bring balance to the light in your life
Skyy

thank you everyone. I deeply value your opinions  and they have honestly made me sit back and take a different look on the situation. I appreciate your input. thank you and blessed be.

Rose
for a time i followed a verry dark path and championed dark causes. learn from it what you could. sometimes it is what is soposed to happen those who once fell to the dark paths and come back from those paths are the greatest warriors for the light. We know more about the darkness and in turn ours selves making it harder for the dark to sink there claws deeper into us use the knowledge you have gained to furnther solidify yourself to the light. the only problem i have ever had was finding it within myself to forgive myself for what i did when i championed the darkness.so welcome back and remember to take baby steps at first.