not-so-merry meet  

I need some advice on my puddy cat.  Tuppy is 19 years old, had her from a rescue centre and she has been with me since she was 2... happy, healthy, never needed medical attention cept for her boosters and spaying... and sooo affectionate you wouldnt believe.

At 19, she has been fading for a few months now, she has an infection in her mouth (caused by a bad tooth), which has been controlled by antibiotic/anti-inflamatory injections every couple of weeks, they wanted to do dental surgery, but warned she probably wouldnt survive the anaesthetic.  She did perk up during April/May, but slowly as her resistance to the antibiotics has got higher she has been struggling more. She has lost a lot of weight over the past 6 weeks or so and couple of weeks ago her eye started disappearing upwards and turning white *freaked out*...apparently the back of the eye is where a cat's fat is stored and she has lost so much weight she is using her fat reserves.  This seems to be ok and not ok day to day.

I took her to the vets again on Monday, and they suggested a blood test (as they seem to think she has thyroid problems and may be diabetic)...they tried, I cried, she was terrified and popped a vein in the process - I couldnt cope and niether could she so I stopped them and  took her home.  They wanted to have her back in for fluids and bloods for the day yesterday, but Tuppy has never been without me, in the 17 years I have been with her, and never had any treatment at all, I cant start poking and sticking needles in her now her now...  thats not fair she was so stressed out.
She isnt in any pain - but she looks at me as though she has had enough, stopped going out, very lathargic - but oddly eating and drinking fine.

My problem is this - Do I just let  nature take its course? but the last thing I want is to come down my stairs one morning and she is fitting/organs failing/heart attack or worse still she has died alone and scared.  Or do I take control and have her put to sleep in my arms?  Is this right - that I play god/goddess???

I desperately need opinions people and wish that someone could make the decision for me - what would you do? Has anyone else had to make this awful decision?

Innerstrength, that my love is a place no pet owner wants to be in.

If she appears to be in no pain I'd have to leave her at home. When she gets to the point that she is suffering then i'd do what my heart tells me is the right thing to do.

Innerstrength,  my heart goes out to you.  This is the toughest part of having and loving a pet.  I agree with Novia, you have to judge whether she is in pain or not.  If not, the gentlest thing to do would be to let her go through the process of passing on in familiar surroundings with her loving family around her.  She has lived a long, happy life with you and it is the nature of life that it must come to an end.  You need to ground yourself and send her steady, calm, loving energy.  However, that is not to say that it is not just as loving and kind, if you feel it is right, to take her to the vet and have the process "go quicker".  I work in an animal hospital, and while no one ever wants to euthanize, sometimes it truly is the kinder path.  I have seen animals look utterly grateful in their last moments.  (sheesh, I tearing up as I write this)  And remember, it is you who remains here missing her and mourning, when she passes over she will already be over that rainbow bridge, in a beautiful place full of contentment, waiting for you.

I will light a candle for you today, Innerstrength, and send supportive energy your way.  We are here for you if you feel like talking.

PS  Innerstrength,  Most vets will try to use everything they can to keep life going, ie: subcutaneous fluids, bloodtests, various procedures, etc.  It is TOTALLY up to you how much you want to put your cat through, especially at age 19.  It is totally appropriate for you to say, No thank you, enough is enough.  You can tell better than anyone how much stress your cat is experiencing.

Just as a note on euthanization, I had a Dachshund (named Snoopy, but we called her Toopies, BTW) that by the age of 12 she had cancer in her female organs. (I was 9 years old at the time) The cost for the procededure for the surgery wasn't really an issue (I don't think vets were quite as expensive in 1978), but we saw that she was in a lot of pain.  Like you, she had been my constant companion from birth, having slept with me in my bassinet when I was just a baby.  We simply couldn't let her suffer.  She would whimper in pain.  Our decision to put her to sleep was that of mercy.  The vet was very kind and explained the entire process to us, and he even let me hold her while he gave her the injection, and her soul left her body right in my arms.  I miss her still, but I think, for me, it would have been a very bad memory to let her suffer in pain just for our enjoyment of her presence.

and I wouldn't worry about her dying scared and alone one night my darling, Kitties tend to prefer to wait till you're asleep, then go find a quiet corner to shed their tired bodies.  They prefer the peace and solitude, unlike humans, so take heart, and know she would prefer it that way.  
I agree with acacia, if she's sore, stops eating, is in obvious pain, sometimes euthanasia is the right way.  But so long as she seems comfortable, animals have been shedding tired skins to frolick like kittens amongst the stars for centuries, she'll know how and when.  The best thing you can do is wish her well on her next life, pray that she brings her next family as much joy as she brought to you.  
Sending you good energy. It's never an easy decision to make.  And if you do decide to euthanize, I fint it all too common for them to rally their strength on the last day, and leave you second guessing your decisions... I've come to think of it as them trying to put on a brave face for you, and comfort you.  If you've made the appointment in the first place, you know in your heart it's the right thing.

Love and hugs my dear, it's a bumpy road ahead, but I wish you both the smoothest sailing
Kathartica

What are her 3 favortie things to do? Yes eating can be one of them, drinking too. Now when she stops doing 2 of the 3, I'm sorry to say it's time to let her go. Yea it would be nice if she would  just go to sleep to pass on. But we have the ablity to help. Some pets fight so hard to keep going even when they shouldn't.

Find a quite place with her. Light a candle and set with her in your lap. Tell her how much you love her, and that she'll always have a place in your heart. Then Tell her that it's ok for her to pass on. Yes it'll hurt, and cry if you need to. But sometimes we have to tell them that it's ok to move on. Many pets stay because of our need, they know and feel this. It is when we open up and let them go that they can feel and know that you'll be Ok without their physical presence.

Blessings to you and your Tubby.

Novia, Acasia, Seamonster, Kathartica and Inde...Thank you so much for your replies and energies you have helped me & Tuppy more than you know.

I sat with her last night and watched her for most of the day, she doesnt appear to be in any pain, is eating a small amount of chicken and drinking lots - she seems to have good days and bad (yesterday being a good day) - I confess to making the appointment on Monday to having her helped along the way later today, but medidated on my decision last night and have decided against , for the time being at least.  She led in the sun for most of the day yesterday and is now curled up on my bed purring and dozing.  

As long as she isnt in pain or when the bad days outweigh the good, I will let nature take its course and let her slip away at home - where she is loved and comfortable.  If she starts to hurt I will take her to the vet and do the right thing by her - take each day as it comes.  

Thanks once again everyone - you are a bunch of 'lil stars *****

Tuppy passed away yesterday morning, peacefully and with no pain.

Im so glad that we kept her home and let mother earth call her when the time was right.  She has a lovely little spot in the garden, which my girls have adorned with stone faeries, flowers and crystals...she was laid to rest with a sugarlite at her heart - which kept coming to me while I was healing her over the past few weeks - and which has been in her bed with her solidly since she became imobile on Saturday.

My loss is summerland's gain

blessings to all those gave advice and sent healing

I know this is a few days late but *[b]BIG hugs* We're here if you need us

Lots of love and hugs to you and your family!

I am so sorry, loving thought and healing energy is on its way, Yes, you are right, Summerlands gain, and an asset of course!!!!!

Love and Light, Lavendar-Ice

You must feel so peaceful knowing your little friend passed in her own time.  Goddess bless you and your family.

I'm so sorry for your loss InnerStrength.  Know that Tuppy is in a wonderful place, full of happiness and peace and plenty, and that to her, it will seem like only a moment until you are reunited.  We, left here on this side of the veil, have the harder time dealing with loss and sorrow, but even the hard, sad lessons of this life can reveal silver linings of hope and wisdom.

Hugs to you and your family.