Does anyone know a way to stop nightmares?  Ben has been having nightmares every night.  Not normal ones about falling or being naked either but real stuff that could happen.  He has night mares about getting in trouble at work or getting in a fight with me and me leaving.  Its causing him to wake up at night really scared and stressed out.

He also has been having trouble falling asleep.  Every time he drifts off he will startle himself awake.  Many times a night.  He just whimpers and jerks back wide awake.  I'm not sure what to do for him.  I give him a back rub at bed time almost every night but it doesn't seem to help much.

One of the things that helped me with nightmares is changing my perspective about them.  Rather than seeing them as dreams that COULD happen, have him write them down every time he has one in detail.  Analyze it from a psychological viewpoint. There are tons of websites with some pretty good definitions.  If he can pick the dream apart and see that, "aha, this is why I dreamt that," then maybe he will no longer view them as nightmares and will be able to change the way they appear.  I hope this makes sense.  It worked for me.

Do what Seamonster says, plus, have him take some benadryl before he goes to bed to help him get into a deeper sleep.

He is still having night mares.  Picking them apart wasn't much good because there are no common themes other than stress  that and he doesn't remember a lot of details.

And now hes sick.  He usually has a very good immune system.  We both do.  But between not sleeping well and stress in his daily life (losing out on the house, disagreeable customers, etc.) I guess he was just unable to fight off what ever bug he picked up.

I could tell as soon as he walked in the door that he wasn't feeling well.  I thought at first he might have just had a hard day at work because he usually goes to the bedroom and lays down for a few minutes when stressed out but then he said he hurt all over and was burning up.  His temperature was 101F when we took it earlier and all his joints and head hurt.  He took some vitamins with dinner and he is in bed asleep now.

One thing I've learned from Mr. K--lemon cures everything!!  Lemon and honey tea (using real lemons or key limes, which is REALLY nummy) will knock the socks out of an oncoming flu.

stress seems to be the main culprit in this whole thing to me.

He is bottling things up and it is telling n him thru his lack of sleep, nightmares, and now his immune system has been knocked out as well.

he is going to have to learn firstly how to deal with the stressses, and no longer laoow them to control his life, even if he doesn't think they are. They are.

Sure that's easier said than done, but in order for him to get back on his feet, and regain som semblance of control, he is going to have to take control.

You guys have put alot of pressure on yoursleves over this whole get a house now or never thing.

Is it really worth it?

If we thought we could keep this place together we wouldn't worry about it but the trailer is beyond repair.  We can throw a bit of money at it and patch it up but it's only a matter of time before its unlivable.  And that new law goes into effect in less than a month now.  Neither of use make much and while we could handle a low monthly mortgage payment we can't pay lot rent and save up enough for a down payment to so it is important to some how find a good place to live.  

Still Ben is worrying about it more than me.  He gets so worked up about every thing and I can't get him to calm down.  I try to reassure him that when this place falls apart we will come up with something but I can't tell him exactly what we'll do.  I guess I am the more impractical one but I have always just rolled with the punches and took life one day at a time.  But that is not his way and he is really worried about where we'll live.

Ben won't drink lemons in his tea but will eat them plain. weird, huh?  So I'll mention what you said about lemons knocking out the flue Seamonster.  Ya know he is the only person I have ever seen eat a lemon slice and not make the lemon face.  I really don't know if he can make the lemon face at this point.  Sour doesn't phase him.  I might get some dill pickles too.  My mom always told me to eat pickles if I think I'm getting sick