After 20 + years of marriage to an abusive alcoholic, I moved out on my own about a year and a half ago. �It's been great! �I love MY SPACE very much and enjoy coming home to the peace and quiet. �No legal action has taken place yet, although it is needed....and I want it.

It has been difficult at times though.... being alone. �There are times when I've just needed someone to share a meal with or to sit and talk to (not like I was able to do that before). �How I long to spend time with the someone I care about and have him actually be interested in how my day went and what's going on in my life. �I've wished for that someone to be there to talk to, have him hold me, put his arms around me and just REALLY BE THERE, you know special days like birthdays, holidays, valentine's day, bad days at work, family problems.

Well, after all this time, I was reminded tonight that it is my wedding anniversary. �22 years. �I didn't even remember it. �I find myself celebrating anniversaries of other days of importance to me. �Is there something wrong with me? �Or is everything right with me?

Leaving an abusive marriage is the best thing you could have done for yourself.  It may be hard, but you will get through it.  You are alright.  There's nothing wrong with forgetting a date that really has no significance to your life at the moment.  Its not as if you are going to go out to dinner with the ex or get him an anniversary gift.  What is the harm in forgetting?  
Amy, the time will come when you will find someone, if the Goddess wishes, that will comfort you and give you all those things you missed in the last marriage.  Maybe the Goddess wishes for you to be happy with yourself.  Maybe you are the person you are looking for.

Thanks, SM.
Most days I really am fine and I'm comparitively happy, but you are right.  I must find myself again first if I intend to move forward in any way.  I knew that....just needed to hear it.  
Hugs and blessings.

Well Luv, I'll say happy anniversary, not for the marriage thing, but for the year and a half you have been getting to kow yourself, you are celebrating.

I used my old date to remeber how far I have come in that amount of time. A time marker. Kinda like we mark other dates for remeberances. the date so and so died. I was... and we embark down memory lane.

no harm, no foul.

enjoy life!

I can relate so much Amethystone.  You are doing great and I am in awe of people like you who are strong enough to leave bad situations.  When my husband and I were seperated I would go between revelling in my freedom and being agonizingly lonely, wishing for "my prince" to come along.  We are now reconciled, but believe me, it's no "and they lived happily ever after".  (There are still times when I feel so lonely, he's not exactly the nuturing-type.) I talk with my friend who has always been on her own and she too, has moments when she revels in her freedom and other moments when she's, as she puts it, bored and lonely and wishes for someone to share with.  There is everything right with you!  You're just human, like the rest of us, don't buy into the myth that there are people who have figured out how to always be happy.  Remember life is a spiral dance, round and round, the good and the bad but never in exactly the same place.

Strange, someone else said today, "Life's a dance".  So dance I shall.

Thanks