I feel so selfish to be again asking for help with something from the wonderful people in the castle, but certainly there are others out there with the same difficulties who can learn from this. So again I come to you.

I have been empathic since I was a child, but only recently put a name to it. I don't know how to shield and as a result have lost a good number of my friends because they hang out in large groups. It's really difficult for me to be around a large group of people. I don't just know what everyone is feeling I feel it, I become it; except like 10 fold. If I'm around an angry person I become super grouchy and when I'm around someone who's sad I can go into a depression for days over it; just from being around them for a while. Of course being around super happy people is nice, but it also makes me really hyper, which is annoying to others.

With the end of the semester - I'm in college - I'm trying to get my transfer papers completed and I've got about five-billion things going on in my family, not to mention the holidays. Well, it seems that I'm becoming more sensitive to my empathic abilities. I suppose it's because I'm already so drained, and because I can feel the nerves of all of my class mates more than ever before. I come home so drained I can't hardly go on. I'm hoping it is just a phase because of what's going on, but . . .I'm driving my new husband insane because every time he studies I get really upset with him for making me nervous, as though it's his fault.

Anyway, what I was hoping was that someone could direct me to some information: online, books, your own or another's experience, anything. I desperately need some way to get through all of this. It would really be appreciated. Much love and blessings.

I am better able to cope with all that energy that normally overwhelms me if I set up a regular meditation or visualization routine.  I can tell when I've let it lapse, too, because, then, the smallest thing will depress me or p*** me off.  I am also worse during certain phases of the moon (and times of my cycle).  I read a really good book that talks about psychic shielding.  The Witch's shield by Christopher Penczak, is an easy read, AND comes with a CD if you have trouble with some of the exercises on your own.  I got a lot out of it, but then, I like his writing.  
In the morning, I have a visualization that I do before I start driving to shield my car with protection as I drive so far to and from work, and at the same time, my "bubble" works as a diffuser/filter for any unwanted energy coming at me.  I'm a teacher and have to deal with 18 little guys every day, and without that filter, I'd be a raving mess.  (and am one on occasion )

Hi Wisdom-Seeker.  I know this may sound really bizarre, but have a couple of meals with red meat.  Meat tends to have an immediate grounding effect for most people suffering from this type of over-sensitivity.  That is why many religions and magic practitioners tend to go vegitarian--it opens them up more to the world around them, increasing their perception.  Eating a steak or a hamburger really works  for immediate problems--I've tried it and can vouch.  It is not the best way to solve the issue over time, but if it's an emergency, try it.

Do you like plants? Play in the dirt. Using visualization/imagination, see all that excess eenrgy transferring itself into the dirt.

Using the same visualization, see a wall surrounding yourself, cutting yourselff off from those arund you. You can make a shield out of any type of material that feels right to you.

Take a tubbie in a bath with salts, works much like the meats.

If you have a preferrence to stones/crystals, carry one with you that will aide you in anchoring your Self.

Being an emapth sucks, alot of the time, it also has it's upsides too, not that I admit it much. It lets you feel things that the average persn has absolutley no clue is going on around them, thru them, all the time.

Right now there is alot of things that is making our gift worse than ever, wold events, and tensions, stresses of the same, the holidays and all the stress that comes with them. In your case studies, then toss in one huge ass full moon, and you got yourself one case of central nervous system overload brewing and stewing.

hmm... red meat is rich in iron... isn't iron supposed to be poison to the fae folk? food for thought... that iron brings us back from the brink of their world... it's not the first time I've heard about the meat trick, but I forgot about it, so thanks.
If you've never been good at shielding then I don't suggest building a "wall" quite... you'll very suddenly feel very dead inside... that's not a good feeling... try picturing something a little softer or transparent... that can let some things through... but like novia says it's ultimately up to you and what feels right.  it takes some work... at first while you have to focus on maintaining the image still it won't seem that helpful but if you keep at it, it does get better.
And chin up hun, we're all here supporting eachother, better to ask than suffer in silence with the wealth of knowledge floating through this place!

Wisdom-seeker,

I know it has been a little while since your initial post and I do not know if you found the advice you were looking for; but I felt the desire to offer my own suggestion(s).

Firstly, I agree with seamonster and novia.  Meditation has always helped control my empathy.  Meditation and visualization has so many different varieties and styles that you will likely spend quite some time finding the method that works best for you.

I tend to generalize meditation to one of three forms: elemental, color, or visual.

Elemental meditation requires you to know what element(s) you have a close association with.  In my case, I have always been associated with fire and water.  As such, I can usually meditate in front of a fire of some form (candles work inside, campfires and bonfires work outside) or natural running water.  I see myself feeding the concerns or problems into the fire or water and tell myself that the fire is burning it away or that the water is washing it away.  Novia's thought of sending the energy into the dirt itself suggests she has an association with earth.  The result is the same regardless of the element that you are associated with.  You feed an embodiment of the source of your empathy into your element and let the element disempower the ability.

Color meditation is what I would suggest that runs similar to Kathartica softer more transparent visualization.  Empathy is something of both the mind and the heart so focusing on a nice purple or possibly a blue as this will futher lessen the emotional aspect will help to shield you while not completely blocking you away from everything.  Concentrate on seeing everything as though you wearing lenses of that color.  The way achieving this was explained to me, you inhale all the color around you and exhale only the desired focal color.

The idea of a visual shield or wall could possibly prevent all entry which has it's own perils but should not be completely dismissed.  I usually reserve it for use as a last resort.  Every now and then someone or something (more often, it is several someones) manages to work through these other defenses and a total shut out is the only way to prevent going stark raving mad.

The other suggestion I would add to this is that regular meditation at specific times of day, like when you first wake as seamonster suggests, develops a sort of continuous protection.  But recognizing when you will be walking into a difficult situation and reinforcing the meditation prior will only help that continual protection you are developing.  As examples, if you know your hubby is going to be studying around 5p.m. have yourself a second meditation for the day around 4p.m. or before heading out to a club where large groups wil be, make another meditation part of the preparation before leaving.

One empath to an other, you need to develop a way to at least partially minimize the effect other peoples emotions have on yourself.  Not doing so will drive you mad or drive everyone else away.  There is a reason I go by the names I do, don't let it happen to you as well.

The Solitary Druid
a.k.a. COpagan

After reading everything here, I can finally put a name to my situation!!! Yay! I have always hated large crowds and have a tendency to have massive panic attacks.  I cannot stand being in large groups of any kind and now I realize that it is a massive overload to the senses. I will definitely give all these exercises a try and hopefully improve my little corner of the world.

All really good advice, the visual/mental sheild works but is dangerous. once in place it is difficult to get out of. Experience speaking, did that to prevent the world from getting to me at a much younger age and really had difficulties later. Still miss my shell sometimes though, sigh. Still want to get back in it sometimes.

Knowing what it is "empathy" learning what you are doing and being aware of you is a major step.
The above exercises and life styles will help.

I to dislike crowds and am forced into them regular. Breathing, centering/grounding, and belief in self are the only way I get through sometimes.

Live, learn, experiment with what works for you, and most of all learn to let things go, flow past, not stick to you.

Blessings
Sundown

unfortunately i have nothing new to add, however i have a similar issue but in reverse...... i managed to somehow "turn off" because i was getting overloaded, i don't know how i did it and i don't know how to turn it back on either.

Alot of times, just being able to know what is going on, is a big help.

I love the info CO!!!

Thanks Novia!  I'd agree that realizing what is going on is the start figuring out how to handle it.  Sorta like the idea that the first step of breaking an addiction is admiting you have a problem.

Barbie, it might not be so much that you "turned off" the ability.  Rather you might have gotten so overloaded that it burnt out.  If that is in fact the case, I am sorry.  Empathy can feel like a curse at times but there is usefulness to it.

it's more like i feel it being there but i don't have access to it at will anymore like i use to.

Barbie,

Is this an ability you would like to get back?  If you still feel the ability but can not use, it should be posible to develop again.

I am not sure what the name for it is but I know enough people who have 'forceful personalities'.  One can not hope to spend more than 20 minutes with them before that individual starts to feel the same emotions as the person with the forceful personality.  I look at it as being more or less opposite to empathic.

Find such an individual near you with this ability and 'hang out' with him or her (most likely her, everyone I know with such a personality is female - no clue why that is).  Before going out with this individual spend some time in meditation (whatever method works best for you) focusing on accessing your empathic spirit.  With repeated practice, you should be able to develop the ability to the point where you will be on the same emotional level as this individual in less than a minute.

Once you achieve that sort of success regularly, you should have greater ability to access it with any individual.  In fact, you would probably be better off than those of us who must try to shut it off when in large groups.  We have it without effort; whereas you will have developed the ability and should therefore have better control over when it effects you.

Good Luck.

I haven't completely read through these posts, but i wanted to let everyone know what I ended up doing for my finals. I meditated in the morning before my classes and ate a good meal. A friend had given me a Yule card with a picture of a fairy that she had drawn especially for Yule and I kept it with me. When I felt myself getting nervous I just spent a few seconds focusing on the fairy in the card and that helped me relax. I also tried visualizing myself alone in the room and that helped some. I'm really going to have to work more at turning it on and off because my empathy is so strong and not at all honed - I can't tell where my feelings are coming from. Thank you all so so much.



read through now and am wondering: Does anyone know a good meditation or other practice I could use to hone my empathic abilities in order to tell where feelings are coming from and what they mean? For example, if I'm feeling depressed, but nothing bad has happened to me, how to I know who it is coming from? Thanks again.

Sometimes we never know who.

Sometimes when you ask, they pop into your head. follow your gut/heart.

first off knowing it is not yours is the first step.

Congrats on the finals thing.