Ok...so it's not pagan, but still gives me the giggles....

Women's Vocabulary

Fine - This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five Minutes - This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

Nothing - This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine".

Go Ahead - (With Raised Eyebrows!) This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

Go Ahead - (Normal Eyebrows) This means "I give up" or "Do what you want because I don't care". You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

<Loud> - This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

<Soft> - Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

That's Okay - This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow".

Please Do - This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

Thanks - A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say "You're welcome".

Thanks A Lot - This is much different from "Thanks". A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh" as she will only tell you "Nothing".

  Chuckle, chuckle......Too true........Is there a list for Men's Vocabulary?

Do men have a vocabulary?

  Hmmm...I'll have to look....

Hey Akina, did you ever find the men"s or just a bunch of grunts! LOL

That's funny, sibrei  

Hey Ladies!!!!

He Says: "I'm going fishing."
He Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

He Says: "It's a guy thing."
He Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

He Says: "Can I help with dinner?"
He Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

He Says: "Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
He Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

He Says: "It would take too long to explain."
He Means: "I have no idea how it works.

He Says: "We're going to be late."
He Means: "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

He Says: "I was listening to you. It's just that I have things on my mind."
He Means: "I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra."

He Says: "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
He Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

He Says: "That's interesting, dear."
He Means: "Are you still talking?"

He Says: It's a really good movie."
He Means: "It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and beautiful women."

He Says: "That's women's work."
He Means: "It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."

He Says: "You know how bad my memory is."
He Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

He Says: "I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses."
He Means: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

He Says: "Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
He Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."

He Says: "Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
He Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

He Says: "I can't find it."
He Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

He Says: "What did I do this time?"
He Means: "What did you catch me doing?"

He Says: "I heard you."
He Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

He Says: "You know I could never love anyone else."
He Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

He Says: "You look terrific."
He Means: "Oh no, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."

He Says: "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
He Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

He Says: "We share the housework."
He Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

He Says: "I don't need to read the instructions."
He Means: "I am perfectly capable of messing it up without
printed help."

He Says: "I'm getting more exercise lately."
He Means: "The batteries in the remote are dead."

He Says: "You expect too much of me."
He Means: "You want me to stay awake."

He Says: "I missed you."
He Means: "I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry, and we're out of toilet paper."

That is extra funny, cause a few of those I can actually relate to the ape that is my other half

A

Amen!!

     when I had one, me too!! Thanks Novia!

 They make totally sense to me, and made me realize why i have chosen to live without a man, for the moment at least.

Ahahhaha!  I can relate to quite a few of them already.  A few of them I haven't heard yet, but I'm sure I'll hear them at least once.

    Excellent Novia!!  There are a few more my ex used which ususally meant "I've found someone interesting on match.com"  but I won't dive into that cesspool right now!

Oh my! Those are so funny.  

Haha! So true.