Dichotomies of Order and Chaos

A perfect world, a perfect heaven. The aspiration of so many
people, for a perfect life, one without sickness, without death,
without chaos. And that is a cruel lie, and a cruel hope, for
there is no life without chaos, no order without change. Only
nothingness is static, and even that lies full of possibility.

So what do we hope for, if not a perfect world to come? Growth
can only come out of chaos, although understanding that growth
comes from times of order. Our goal, our purpose, is growth and
understanding of the world around us and ourselves. To find a
static world, or to change to one, would make us useless and our
purpose unreachable. Instead, we should hope for learning, for
growth, for becoming more than we currently are, as painful as
that can be sometimes.

That doesn't mean all chaos is good, any more than all order is
good. Every change holds within it seeds both of growth and pain,
of advantage and disadvantage. And times of order degrade over
time, taking what had been good to simply what is, and often what
is bad. Chaos and order are both good and bad, depending on what
is done with the opportunities, not the fact of order or chaos
itself.

Order however, is much more comfortable than chaos. We crave
order, security, comfort. Even when the order is obviously not
serving the people involved, it is still quite difficult to take
the risk of chaos and make changes. When we cannot find order, we
find ways to force order, see patterns, create comfort out of
confusion. We call upon Gods to create order or explain what is,
blaming chaos on divine disfavor. We deny growth because it
scares us, because the potential for growth is always the same
potential as loss.

We must learn to embrace chaos as we embrace order, to accept
that our lives cannot remain pleasantly constant. To understand
that how we deal with change and chaos are the things that truly
define us as people. And to accept that our lives are short, and
not constant, and that to embrace anything in life is to embrace
the fact that it is impermanent.

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=====  Questions
=====

 * What are the limits of order?
 * What are the limits of chaos?
 * How do we balance our desire for security with our need for
   change?

*What are the limits of order?
* What are the limits of chaos?
* How do we balance our desire for security with our need for
  change?


Before we can begin to answer these questions we have to first begin to understand the limits of our comfort zones. Let me share a story. I have recently been put in a position that has been very traumatic for me. I grew up with a mother and father, and brothers who were a decade older than me, so when I hit puberty, they were off in the service. Mom and dad always wanted the best for me. Dad had a bad childhood, and didn't want to see the same things happen to me. But mom was an alchoholic, and dealing with that between 13 and 18 took considerable flexibility. We had some rough times, but managed somehow. Then after mom died things became more difficult. It was me and dad for another 4 yrs, until I met my husband and moved away from home. Recently dad died. I was left in charge of the bank account. But my brother was using the atm card to steal money from the account. He and I never got along. And shortly after a miscarriage he put me in a bad situation with the bank account, and expected I would clean up his mess, and that he wouldn't have to be responsible for it. That didn't happen. I consulted our other brother, asking him to intervene, and to see to it that our brother pays the money back. Begrudgingly he did it, and I gained 2 enemies (my brother, and my other brother's wife). That relationship was never good, and standing up to him, although exceedingly unpleasant, was the best thing I ever did for myself.

Now on the surface one might say.. "damn.. when it rains it pours.." but that's not the point of the story. Our comfort zones have limits, and sometimes interactions with other people force us to step outside of these comfort zones and deal with rather unpleasant situations. If I had not stood my ground my brother would continue to attempt to use me like he always has. Since this debacle, we have not spoken. There is a very good chance we will never be close after this, and I may even lose the only family I have left, and if this is the case then so be it. This saddens me a little, but I think that it is the price I pay for making that decision. Having family at this time is something that I need, to feel that sense of comfort that is greatly lacking, but there is a very good chance that losing the remainder of my family will be as necessary as discarding a bad relationship. In the short term, it puts me out of my comfort zone, but may help me to prepare for a more stable, secure life down the road.

In a nutshell, I am suggesting that the road to order is paved with chaos. I have often felt that order and chaos were less at odds and more of a system in which they were dependent on one another, and often times inseparable. Maybe there is no need to consciously balance this system in our lives. Maybe we find ourselves in these situations because there is a great need to discard outdated modalities and bad relationships which only hinder us, and the change could be a way of preparing us for the next phase in our lives. Something to think about.

In my experience,
  There is no limit for order.  When you want order there is always something else you see that you feel the need to have order for.
   There is no limit for chaos.  By its very nature, chaos will come at anytime and will stay for as long as it takes.
   I don't know if we humans can achieve balance for order and chaos.  Just try to be prepared for both.

Tavthe said "I have often felt that order and chaos were less at odds and more of a system in which they were dependent on one another, and often times inseparable. Maybe there is no need to consciously balance this system in our lives. "  

I agree with that