10 different reasons many people feel that harming themselves is the only way to make them feel better.

Many different people across the world, no matter what age, sometimes need to cut themselves, or inflict pain onto themselves in order for the to feel better. This happens for many different, explainable reasons.


Cutting is a Disorder

Many different people that suffer from different forms of depression, cut after reaching a peak in sorrow. Which is very reasonable. Seeing them bleed reminds them that they are still able to feel something, and that life isn't over yet.

A Cry For Help
Some people cut themselves to show others they need help in life, they need to find something or someone that can give them a reason for why they should be here. They don't tell to increase the effectiveness of anyone wanting to help them if they somehow find out.

For Attention
Many teens or other people cut themselves in hope for attention. In hope that someone will care that they do it. These people are usually the ones that go off and tell everyone that they do it, just so they'll feel bad for them.

It puts them in control
Some people cut in order to see that they are in control of something. Seeing the blood and feeling the pain shows them they can control at least one thing, which is good positive reinforcement.

A symbol of love
Many different people think that carving their lovers name into them is a good way of showing them that you love them, and that you'll go through any amount of pain for them. This isn't always the best idea. Yes some people do think it's very passionate and caring, but if they truly love you, they won't want you to do that to yourself.

Cutting relieves stress
When someone cuts themselves, pain relieving chemicals called Endorphins are released to relieve stress or emotional pain.

They like how it looks
Alright, I honestly hate when people do this. They only cut themselves to see how it looks, or the cool patterns they can make. This is possibly one of the worst decisions you can make. If you want to do that, just draw something instead.

They feel like they deserve it
Many people are very self-loathing these days and want to do whatever they can to hurt themselves after making bad decisions. Cutting usually comes into play there.

They like the pain
Some people are just truly messed up and like being hurt, so they do things like cutting in order to feel pain. But the truth is, when people cut themselves for reasons that actually make sense, they are too worked up to feel any pain at all.

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)
Many people suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder, meaning they have somewhat of multiple personalities. And the only way they could get through the different problems and different pain, was cutting or self-harming to relieve it all.

Cutting oneself is pretty much what it sounds like--taking a blade or other sharp object and cutting one's own skin on any part of one's body until it bleeds. Although cutting is the most common form of self-injurious behavior, self-injury can include burning oneself with a lighted cigarette or match, biting, banging one's head, punching oneself or pulling out one's own hair (trichotillomania). People who injure themselves in these ways are typically between 13-15 years of age and female, although cutting can go on for years unnoticed by others. Some boys exhibit self-injurious behaviors as well. Here is some information that can help you to better understand self-injury:

Cutting is a coping mechanism, granted an unhealthy one, that helps people to handle intense feelings of upset or pressure.
The brain releases endorphins when the body is cut. These endorphins provide pain relief and a sense of well-being, thus relieving psychological pain.

Because of the release of endorphins, cutting can become a compulsive behavior. The next time emotions are at a high, the brain craves the relief that the endorphins provide.
People who cut themselves tend to be people without the skills to express these strong feelings in more healthy ways. They need to learn self-soothing methods that are not injurious.

People who cut themselves sometimes also suffer from other mental health issues such as bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, eating disorders or other challenges, though this is not always the case.

Many teens who cut themselves tend to be very good at hiding their self-injury. They may wear long sleeves to hide scars, explain away any cuts that are observed or even share tips on how to hide their self-injury, such as this example from 43 Things.You cannot make someone who cuts herself stop. Lecturing, begging, rejecting......none of these strategies will work. Instead, you can offer your support by letting your friend know that she deserves to be healthy and happy and that you are willing to help her find the assistance she needs.

Remember heroin chic? This was a fashion style of the mid-90s that made models look as if they were heroin addicts (thus drawing protests from anti-drug groups and even then-President Bill Clinton). Some people who were not heroin addicts still tried to achieve this look, for example through self-starvation. Unfortunately, cutting has an analogous element of boundary-crossing chic for some teenagers who try cutting themselves as a way to appear edgy and cool.
If you know someone who cuts herself, don't decide for yourself whether the cutting is an effort to be cool or a cry for help. Take cutting as a sign of underlying emotional troubles that need to be addressed.

If you are a parent to a teenager who cuts herself, find her a therapist that she likes and trusts. Be prepared for the possibility that your entire family may be asked to participate in family therapy. In family therapy, the family is seen as a system that needs to work together--all members of the family are expected to be part of the therapy process.
Having a child or friend who cuts herself can be a frightening experience. However don't let your own fear or denial get in the way of an opportunity to help. The person who cuts herself is in pain and needs to express that pain in ways that are not self-injurious. Cutting oneself is a severe enough symptom to merit mental health help as soon as possible.

Interesting topic.  I have to make an admission that I am a recover(ing) "cutter" - though I generally do not like that term, it's easier to say it.

This topic seems well-informed (where did you get the information, by the way?), which makes it that much better.  I like the helpful ideas you present in the second post, as well, though often things are not as easy as they are in writing.  Not exactly sure if this topic is the appropriate place for my remarks on this concept, so I'll keep it (somewhat) brief.

I might like to point out that often those who cut also engage in other forms of self-harm or self-mutilation, and often regardless of the reason behind the cutting, people who cut themselves are likely to act out in "subtle" (and sometimes not-so-subtle) methods of public self-harm.

From my own experience, the people who cut for purposes other than attention are quiet.  A lot of them prefer to wear clothing or jewelry that hides or mostly covers the cuts (as you mentioned, now that I re-read the posts again).  Though sometimes they (either consciously or subconsciously) make the cuts almost obvious.  Generally, from my own experiences, this tends to be an example of people who are attempting to get attention or otherwise noticed (even if they are simply seeking someone to talk to or to be friends with).

However, as with pretty much anything, you cannot assume everyone who meets some of the aforementioned criteria to be a person who cuts.  Still, if you have a feeling or actually know for certain, don't ignore it.  I've seen the progression of self-harm in those who feel that no one notices.  I have had the misfortune of watching more than one person emotionally near me to cause more injury than they intended - in no small part due to the fact that I stayed silent.

Admittedly, this is a difficult topic for me to openly discuss (and I know I've mentioned a lot of "vague" things in this reply).  But I felt oddly compelled to add to this with my own input.

Thank you, Lady_Elaine, for adding this.

Heh.  So much for brief, eh?

Z

The articles were in my files on my computer.....I do not know where they originated. I felt compelled to share them, for I know many "cutters" although I do not like that term either.

I do feel it is a call for help, and also a warning....

The messages we send out many times go unheard....until it is too late.

It's always best to be a friend....not turn the other way.

Thank you Agent Zero, I appreciate your input....this IS a very delicate subject, but since we have such a strong community here, I felt it was alright to bring up.

a very dark subject....whenever someone mentions it I think of the song Johnny Cash did just before his death...about both cutters and heroin use...It has been redone but I can't remember the artist. Its a very haunting song sad and bitterly beautiful in a warped way.
I don't think I will ever understand the desire to inflict pain on yourself (there are so many jackasses out there who will do this for you)....Now I have to apologize to the next jackass I see...

I suspect the "taboo" nature of the topic also lends some appeal to it....people will gossip about anything everything and nothing...but watch them get pale and shut up(and sometimes its the only time they shut up) when this subject comes up.

We will all pray for your continued recovery Agent Zero, just know there are people here who care.

blessings
eeyoresgirl

"It puts them in control
Some people cut in order to see that they are in control of something. Seeing the blood and feeling the pain shows them they can control at least one thing, which is good positive reinforcement. "

Many people view cutting as a way people use to get attention, and I agree to some degree, but I think to the individual performing the act, it is the last effort before suicide to try to feel empowered.

Talking about cutting and suicide as an act of empowerment may sound odd, but not when you understand and can empathize with profound despair. At the moments that life spins out to chaos, cutting is a really obvious method of enforcing a sense of control--"If I have control over nothing else, I have control of this."

Conversely, someone can live an exceedingly ordered and regulated life, but be so socially disconnected, that they have no source of friendship, love, and support. Cutting in this situation is like saying, "I may not be able to feel love, but at least I can prove that I am alive."

Cutting is empowering, but it is emphasizing the power of death, not the power of life. When you participate in self-mutilation (not in the sense of S&M), you are not practising something that will help you control how you live, rather you are controling when you exist.  People who cut themselves are usually in too dark and narrow a place to know the difference.

... I am a cutter... not so much now as i was when i was younger (12-17 ish)... back then i did it to help myself focus.. when i was younger i watched my own little sister take her own life with a shotgun... and its been hard since to be able to focus thoughts when i am either stressed or angered.. i used the cutting as a way to (in my mind) slice threw all the garbled thoughts and ideas and see the way to a better thought...

 i know its hard to understand if someone has never done it... and NO i am not telling anyone to just go out and see for ur self... i just know that here i am 30 and i still have to every now and then make a small nick or slice on my chest or leg where no one will see it.. so that i can gather myself and think more clearly...

 I was told when i was going thru therapy for dealing with my sisters death that cutting was a step below suicide...that it basically ment that the next step in the stage was killing ones self... and i totally thought that Dr was nuts... i never wanted to die.. nor do i do now...  I can honestly look at my life and I see my 4 children and i want to see them graduate...get married.. have kids..etc... so yeah, killing myself is not the next step for me... or even in my thoughts when i do cut...

I will say that it is an addiction though... just like tattoo's or body piercings... or even cigarettes.. but just like all those mentioned.. having the ability to know when to much is to much is the main thing...

 anyway...thats just my 2 cents on the matter....

A can of worms have been opened.  One of my best friends is a former cutter as someone that's in the "I have a friend who cuts" category I can agree with being there for a friend that's in need. There are many a time I would get a two am phone call with my friend in hysterics over something and needing to cut. I understand that you aren't suppose or shouldn't say whatever they are upset about is stupid, which I never did, until she'd calmed down enough to realize it. Then I would start playfully poking at her about how silly it was to get upset. Yet every time she would call I would get an uneasy feeling knowing she was on the other side harming herself.  Sometimes, as far as I can tell, the simplest thing a self-harmer wants  is just someone who will listen and accept what they are doing without scorn until they can get on their feet.

That's my take on it at least. Everyone is different, but from my experience that has worked with just about anyone I've come into contact with. Just ask Zero.


Bramble

— Gaderel wrote

I will say that it is an addiction though

Yes, yes it is.  I have not purposing cut myself in a long time - two years clean, now - but the desire is often still there, like a craving at times.  It was harder when I first put down the razor.  It took me a good four or five attempts to actually put it aside for good.

I must admit that prior to the cutting, I engaged in other harmful activities that often bruised me to broke things.  And, I'll make the admission, that I made numerous attempts at suicide (most of them half-hearted, more as a means to bring attention to myself than anything).

It was hard to find someone who would be able to talk about it.  Most people who knew would ignore it or act like they didn't notice.  And those who did notice and made mild attempts at reaching out to me, were still afraid of the situation.  A lot of people are scared by the vulnerabilities of others, afraid they might catch the same "disease" or something.

And being raised in the church didn't help either, where my parents all but cursed me for cutting myself and for attempting suicide.  You're likely familiar with the rant of "Suicide is a sin!  You go straight to hell!"  That was my mother.  On many of my personal issues, not just self-harm.

However, I must admit that more than once it was that terrifying fear of hell that actually kept me from cutting deep enough to die.  Though the danger increased as I became less and less convinced of my mother's teachings - frantic rants, more like it.

I do not know many people who cut now, at least not personally.  And even when I hear about it, it wrenches my stomach into all sorts of knots.  I think I'd like to forget about what I used to be and focus on who I want to become.  But, at the same time, I can't just leave others in the same predicament I was in.

It doesn't help that I am easily influenced by the emotions of others.

Some odd study somewhere said that the ages of those who cut were between 14 and 25 year-olds.  But it failed to incorporate how many of those people ending up dying from the cuts or other such means before "outgrowing the phase", as my mom put it.  And that is why I feel the need - not just for me, but everyone - to help anyone you think is in this or a similar situation.

I know I'm more or less rambling here, but it's what I do.  I'm not offering a lot of insight here, I know.  But, in a way, it feels good to let some of these darker secrets I tend to keep bottled up out.  I may have too many demons in my closet.  I plan to move to a bigger house, though.  

Anywho...

My purpose here was to emphasize the point that cutting is an addiction.  It feels good, and it does "help" in that it activates those endorphins.  It's a lot like smoking a cigarette or binge drinking.  As I mentioned, sometimes the craving for pain seeps in, even now.  And when I'm depressed (which isn't that often anymore), it's even harder to resist.

The best way I've found to overcome the need for it is to get away from it.  Find something else non-harmful to occupy your time, go find someone to hang out with and leave the sharp objects at home.  It seems to work for me.

Overcoming the emotional pain, however, is harder.  For me, I finally realized that it wasn't getting me anywhere.  I was hindering my dreams and my personal progress in life and education, and had cost me nearly two full years of college.  I just had to be hospitalized for six and a half weeks to see that.

I do not recommend that path.  The food at those hospitals sucks.  And you get one hour outside in the sunlight.  I hated it.

Anyway... yeah.  There's my spill for the night.

Z

I know I went thru this phase as well earlier in my life. I was in the midst of a life that would indeed lead alot to suicide just to escape it. I also drank like a fish, and I was only in my mid and early teens. It was my sense of control over at least some small aspect of my life.

I also thought that maybe someone who cared would see, and intervene and help me.

My youngest went thru a spell of 'whittlin' as I called it. She carved he fella initials in the side of her hand. Not deep, just scraping. It started out being her own initial. We did do the therapy thing for a short time, but she didn't feel it did her much use, so we stopped, as it was her who had asked to go. once she figured out that she had control over isues, she seems to have stopped. I do stillknow she has blades in her room, but when I removed them, she got more, and whittled, but now that I leave them alone, she doesn't. Balls in her court, and I keep it that way. She has the 'illusion' she is in control, that she is behind the wheel, but I still have a hand on the steering wheel, for added guidance.

WOW!   What a dark subject. I can't even begin to imagine the internal struggle someone has to be going through to engage in self mutilation. I don't know anyone who cuts themselves intentionally. Heck, I only knew one person that took their own life- and I hadn't seen her for years. It saddened me because she was a beautiful person when we were in high school. I worry about my kids and how they deal with stress, pier pressure and just being a teen. I try to be very vigilant in being attentive to their emotional well being. I've stated in previous posts that my biggest fear is not being there for my kids. Well, I think that fear is equal to the thought of ever having to bury one of them- especially if its due to a self inflicted wound that I could have prevented just by paying a bit more attention to them or just listening to them. All I can say to those who do cut themselves intentionally is I think you need to learn to love yourself for who you are and others will follow. You're not only hurting yourself, you're hurting the people who already DO love and accept you for the person you are and see the beauty inside you. Do you really want to hurt them as well? I am by far no authority on emotional issues. These are just my  2 cents on the subject. To those who are affected by this disorder: I pray the Lord & Lady bless you with the sight to see the beauty within yourself so that you end this self destructive and potentially deadly cycle.

Blessings,

Draco