In 10 months, I will be getting a divorce.  The only reason we are waiting this long is so that we can catch up on our mutual bills and I can finish out the school year.  The divorce will be welcome when it comes.  We have lived together for a couple of years now with seperate belief systems, but since my husband returned home from his visit to his family in Egypt, he has not let up on the fact that I "don't believe like a normal person".  (WTF?)  He claims that he has been "patient with me" for far too long.  He barely speaks to me anymore and finds stupid reasons to go out or go to work early.  If he's having an affair at this point, I'm beyond caring anymore.  Good for him.  I hope she's a good Muslim who will treat him like a God and give him fifty children.  He has told me very bluntly that I would not be a fit mother for his children.  He implies that I am not deserving of him.  So, I have made the decision to leave.  We have both agreed upon this decision because we have grown so far apart.  
 I don't have but one friend here.  Everyone else I know belongs to his "religion" and I can't say anything to them (even about the divorce) for fear of losing my job.  I don't have time to get to know anyone (which is why I haunt the castle).  I'm also an anti-social misfit who fears making new friends.  I am happy living alone, that part of it doesn't scare me or worry me.  I'm not worried about finding another man, which probably won't ever happen (...to all you Dianics out there, vive la femme!) I'm just pissed as hell at this blatant bigotry from someone who claimed to love me.  (Well, he has his f*&^ing citizenship now.)  
I don't know why I'm writing this here.  I don't usually like to "spill" my b'i'ness to large groups of people.  Maybe I'm just looking for someone who has been through this, too.  Is this common for us as Pagans?  Do we lose everyone?  I feel so alone.  Can anyone throw me some hope?

Awwww  *huge hugs Sea and a big cup of cocoa*  I don't know how much hope I can give you, but I can offer you a sholder to lean on and an ear.  I'm sorry you're having to go through this. All I can say is if he cared about you the way he claimed he wouldn't let his family or his beliefs form such a divide as they have. That's my only comment besides *hugs* and I'm here if you nee me.


Bramble

SM, hon, you have a friend right up the road from you. I am here if you need me. If you feel like jumping in a car and driving up this way, then you will have a place to stay. Even though we have never met in person, I am here for you.

It is tough having to deal with stupid ass bs like this. Be strong. And know that all of us here are here for you with open arms and really wide shoulders to cry on.

Love and hugs,

Sorry to hear that, but if you two aren't happy, then why stay, especially in a situation like this. My parents are going through a divorce since March of this year.

Oh hun I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now. It will get better. My guy went from thinking me being a witch was a hobby to understaning why its my choice for a way of life and "religion". Sending you Love and Light

Hugs
Eve

Thank you all for your hugs.  I will make it through this, its just not going to be easy.  I wish I could just get it over with but financially I can't do anything right now.  In the meantime, I'm doing a LOT of meditating and a LOT of avoiding.

It's his loss, SM. We will be here for you.

I've been through a divorce also, Seamonster.  I know some of what you're going through.  The good of this?  You don't have any children to drag through this, and you found out his true self before that.  Take care of yourself, and remember this is just a little down time in your life.

Seamonster,
    Your circumstances are really more common than you probably realize.  Many times the female partner is the one who finds herself isolated and lost and on her own when things fall apart.  Being from a particular social or ethnic background only makes it worse.  I was friends with a deaf couple for a long time.  They grew apart and he was the one who decided he was deserving of a better life.  To make a long story short, she is now discovering her own happiness and making a new life for herself, with her own real, sincere friends both among her own deaf community and the hearing world.  He is making a fool of himself with a girl half his age with whom he's decided he's in love after knowing her for three whole weeks and has turned his back on those who really cared about him.  It is both very funny and sad at the same time.  I've known many other couples who have gone down the same road, and it always seems to be the woman who turns out to be the happier, more complete person in the long run.  I predict you will find and explore your own happiness.  You seem to have made a good start just by expressing yourself here.  There's nothing wrong with being an antisocial misfit; you just have an idea of what you want and don't want.  
    I hope this helps.

Blessings.
Monk

SM, I'm so sorry he has broken your heart.  I'm only a few steps ahead of you on this path, as you know, and I am so here for you I can't state it strongly enough!  Is it common for us Pagans?  My ex told me shortly before he left that when I wasn't being mean I was scary.  WTF??  I bent over backwards trying to please him or at least not make him angry.  I failed completely - and it wasn't my fault!!  Another divorced woman I know said her relationship was doomed because everything she did wasn't "right" .....ever!  I don't believe it's our fault, the person who initiates the break-up just has to find something to bitch about.  ANd in your situation with the whole citizenship thing, it does bring up the question of ulterior motives.  Who does that to someone?!!!!   You wrote he implies that you don't deserve him, well you don't, you deserve someone MUCH, MUCH BETTER!!!!!!!  I could go on and on but I won't.  Give yourself permission to feel all the feelings that will come to the surface, anger, outrage, sadness, fear, anxiety, even nostalgia..... THEN LET THEM GO.  I was told I was not to get "over" this, I was to go "through" this.  Experience the feelings that come, nuture yourself, give yourself the most excellent care you are capable of, and you will find yourself blossoming into a new, wiser, more beautiful creature than you can imagine.  If you want to email me directly go right ahead.  I'll find my way to my profile so that my address shows.  Take care girl, you are not alone!

SM Luv, first off may the fleas of a thousand egyptian camels infest his shorts!!

Second off, you will be far far far better offf without him. I'm actually glad it has come to this, and not worse. Far too many times men of such decent turn to viloence against women, because they do not see them as equals in life. You have served your purpose in getting him his citizenship and making him legal. Again, such behaviour is not uncommon. They will give you the moon, as long as the fear of booting looms over their heads. now, it does not. Even though he prides himself on his now being a US citizen Luv, he will always in his heart be Egyptian.

I'm sure somethng happened on his trip home. My heart looms heavy on what that could have been.

You will survive, and if you are put out of your school, then so be it, it will be for a reason, I'm sure. You are not of them, and never will be. In the end, stand tall and proud of who YOU are. now you will have the chance to figure that out.

Know I'm always just an email away!!!

Gentle Pooh Huggles, and Piglet Squeezies!!!

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through.  You are better without him.  Hugs and Blessings sent your way.

I second what everybody else has said!  I've been through divorce once and the second is looming.  It's just a matter of money to pay for it.  Actually, I keep hoping his girlfriend will pressure him into paying and getting it over with.  If not, I will before the end of this year.  

It turns my stomach that he may have used your relationship to gain citizenship to our country, but I guess this is something that happens more often than I imagined.  

You will be fine, wait, no, you will be better, when this is done and finished.  

I do enjoy being on my own and answering only to me and I love having my space, but don't give up and think you will never marry again.  The elements may just know the one person you can have a relationship with and share the same beliefs.  Keep yourself open, Dear, but in the meantime, stay focused on you.  

I may be 6 hours away, but you are welcome if you need to get away at any point in time.  Just send me an IM and let me know.  

Blessings,
Amethystone

*sigh* You are all my family.    I really appreciate all you've said.  You're right.  I don't have to put up with all that BS.  I suppose staying until next June is my way of payback.   I'm not the only one who has to live in hell...(he, he).  In June I will be off for two months with pay for the summer from the school.  My plan is to go home to NE WA (to my family), and use that two months to look for work.  I might be offline for a bit at that time, but at least you are never far away.  I will be back in my own space and in my own head.  I am actually looking forward to that time.  I have often said, and I will continue to say that no one can force me to believe what I don't believe or make me stop believing what I know within myself to be true.  I have seen and experienced far too much NOT to be a Pagan, and at my age, its time to sort out all of that experience and look at it objectively.  I can't do that with a bigoted husband.  I'm learning very quickly that I am strong enough to handle this.  I will survive this 10 months and come out stronger and more educated in the end.  
Amy, its not that I don't think that men are worthy...lol.  Its just that I realize that I don't need a man to make me happy.  I make myself happy and I like myself for who I am.  I guess I have finally realized (thanx to Mr. K) that I don't need validation from anyone.  I, like you, will be perfectly content to live alone.  And I will have cats...lots and lots of them.  And I will grow herbs wherever, whenever I choose.  I will have candles lit all over the house, in the windows, on the fireplace, on the kitchen counters.  I will have my altar set up in my living room with all the happy little ecoutrements upon it.  I will put a pentagram on my front door.  I will no longer have to listen to anyone in my home complain about what I believe.  (Okay, this is cliche, but "I am woman...hear me roar!)

I am sorry hon....I am not sure it is even from being Pagan at all....the world we all live in is so jacked up at this point all I seem to hear comming out of most people's faces is how wrong everyone else is and how right they are....which I believe is a bell warning as to just how insecure they are in their beliefs.
I don't know if Mr K will pull his head out of his Ass in time to realize what he is losing, but if not then he deserves to lose you.
Just know that you have friends here .... and you know what.... if you become Muslim or Catholic or Baptist we will still be your friends. Your weird Pagan friends, but friends none the less.

Blessings