as said before i am recently new to wicca, but do feel quite connected and enjoying learning about the religion. i do so far believe it is the path for me. the only thing that is worrying me is that my partner for 10yrs is a strict christian and before when i was an athiest he was concerned that i had no spiritual path ahead of me. don't get me wrong he has in no way pushed his religion or anything like that and i can acknowledge he was thinking of me etc but now i am expressing myself in following wicca, because he doesn't know much about it, he ridicules it and says it namby pamby etc. this annoys me as i thought he would be happy for me because i have found a spiritual path. he says he is going to commit some time to doing some research as to get to know things better but i am scared as he has also said if it conflicts with his religion (which i explain my religion has nothing to with him really as it is a personal thing) he would end up having to end the relationship!!!

the thing that is worrying me is that u know yourselves, type in anything on the internet and u are gonna get a whole pile of junk! i am trying to encourage him to look at a particular book that seems to be mostly along my line of thinking but it is very hard to explain to him that you can be a solitary ecclectic wiccan, and therefore your beliefs are mainly your own etc, such as i don't see the god and goddess as seperate 'gods' i see them as male and female representation of a whole life energy source (such as nature). but most books refer to them as deities in their own right which i know will go against his religion as 'worshipping false gods'!!  i am trying to say that there is not reason that the two may not be linked as in his 'God' could just be another name for my representation of a larger energy source!therefore there would be no contradictions in that we follow the rede (which is easier to understand and follow than the commandments) so i'm not exactly gonna be going out slaughtering things and wishing evil on people (which is not in my nature anyway!)

this is very hard and as you can tell i'm sure frustrating and confusing - i also wish to add that i know these are my views solely and i hope i have not offended anyone if i have i apologise, its just i'm very scared that although i'm finding a new part of my life, i may lose another.

thankyou for reading/listening
LPP

Well, just remind your partner that 10 years of being together is more important than any religion that either of you practice. I assume that both of you have been through much in those ten years when each of you has supported the other. Remind him also that you are the same exact person that you've been for the last decade. You just want that connection with "God" that others have and Christianity doesn't let you express your beliefs.

Anything other than his form of christianity is going to conflict, with his form. Protestantism and catholicism have been enemies for a couple centuries now, and they're both christianity. So, paganism will be a hard pill or him to swallow. Also, with the Abramaic religions, you're not even supposed to be familiar with a sinner other than trying to convert them.

There is nothing wrong with your views, so don't worry about offending anyone. That's sort of what I believe too. That's the great thing about being solitary, You use and believe what strikes a chord with you. It's no one else's business.

I don't really have any advice for you other than putting some of the books that you've been reading in front of him, and seeing what he thinks.

Hope it all works out for you, Lucky, just remember that nothing in life is certain, and that change is inevitable. It's always changing.  

That's what makes life scarily interesting sometimes.

Mara

At least he is willing to do the research.  Mr. K, who will no longer be my husband in a couple of months (for this very reason), refused to do any research, stating only that according to his belief, people's religions only counted if they came from a "book".  Everything else is to be shunned.  Including me.  His reasoning is that because I'm an intelligent person, I have gone looking for knowledge that is dangerous.  (In other words, I know too much... !)  

My suggestion is to let him read what he needs to read.  Even if the information online is not always the right information, he will discern what you practice by your own hand.  I'm certain he knows that you don't set out to hurt people and that you are motivated by love for all beings, which is the essence of Paganism, whether or not you follow an organized group or are, like most of us,  ecclectic solitary.  (I tend to think of myself as an eccentric solitary, but WTH.)  He will either find his peace with what you follow or reject it.  My thinking is that, if he is willing to know more about it, he is probably more apt to be understanding.  (I wish it had been that way with my husband.  Maybe I wouldn't be about to go through another divorce and move my arse 2500 miles!)

Lucky, there is a website, wicca.com. The site will come up as "The Celtic Connection". Click on the Celtic Cross to enter the site. From there, click on the section titled "Hernes Ramblings". Once you are in there, there's a thumbnail titled "Open Letter to Some of Our Christian Visitors". It may help. I was raised Catholic. My wife is Christian. Our kids go to a Christian based school. I never really paid that much attention to religion until my daughter told me one of her teachers said "she'd pray for my daughter" because she was seen showing another girl how to do the sign of the cross. This was my first exposure to the prejudice in the Christian religion. This really pissed me off, and my research began. I was shocked and very troubled by my findings. I am now neither Catholic or Christian, but an ecclectic solitary Pagan. I wish I knew more folks in my area that shared my beliefs. I understand that you and your partner have been together for quite some time. Even if you get married in a Christian ceremony, you will each have a lit candle that represents each of you. You will then each take your candles and light a larger single candle that represents the both of you forming your union. However, the two candles that represent you both will remain lit along with the larger candle. This is symbolic in that although you both form a single union, you still maintain your individuality. I guess what I'm getting at is that if your partner truely loves and cares for YOU, he should be able to get past the religious gap between you both. He should also display the same respect for you and your beliefs that he expects from you for his beliefs. Best of luck to you both.

Blessings,

DracoMoonstone

[quote="DracoMoonstone";p="46089"]
Even if you get married in a Christian ceremony, you will each have a lit candle that represents each of you. You will then each take your candles and light a larger single candle that represents the both of you forming your union. However, the two candles that represent you both will remain lit along with the larger candle. This is symbolic in that although you both form a single union, you still maintain your individuality. I guess what I'm getting at is that if your partner truely loves and cares for YOU, he should be able to get past the religious gap between you both. He should also display the same respect for you and your beliefs that he expects from you for his beliefs. Best of luck to you both.

Ditto what DM said.  
Blessings,
Amethystone

hi thanks for all ur nice messages. my partner is of the protestant faith in particular presbyterian (we live in northern ireland so i'm sure u all know that this really matters). the whole candles part isn't practised in this denomination of christianity so therefore i cannot even take solice in that idea (although i do find it very romantic notion!). i presume it is mainly done in a catholic ceremony here as that is the only place i have seen it done.  
this is a very hard time for me to grasp, although last night we did have a very indepth discussion on religion where he did openly ask what my ideas on the afterlife were, and why we would try to be better people, and he asked 'to what end??'.  my answer to benefit life on earth as we are now, i am not trying to be a better person to gain passage into heaven for myself, i am doing it for myself as i am alive now and for everyone and everything around me. if we all did that the world would be a far better place!. was quite proud of myself!!!  
i'm finding it hard to explain to him that the main difference i see in what i believe and he believes is that
1-i do not believe jesus died on the cross (i know very big part of christianity!)
and 2- who says that the major energy force i believe created us all isn't my perception of his God????

i have left the books out openly for him to read but in the last couple of years i don't think he has picked any up yet, but at least they are not banished or anything, and he has also given me space when i need to meditate or learn some rituals, so if that is all i get from him i am thankful for that, i just would like ultimately him to pay respect to my religion as i do his.

DracoMoonstone - thanks for the tip i am going to check out the site now and maybe download info to pass on.
thanks again everyone for your advise. keep it coming and i will keep ya posted!!!!


love to all and a big warm hug to pass around!

Just have faith that your feelings for each other can bridge the gap between your respective paths my dear. My wife's father was Catholic and her mother was protestant. How's that for a wierd combination! But they overcame their differences and overlooked the objections of family members and made it work anyway. When its meant to be, it shall be. And they remained married until my father in law's death(45 years of marriage). Thats not to say a strong relationship doesn't take a little work. I'm reasonably sure they had their issues throughout their marriage. All couples do. But anything worth having is worth working for, and that includes a strong marriage. I remember a line I heard in a movie once (I believe it was the movie SAHARA): A man said "religion divides people". A common cause will unite them. Ask yourselves: What are your common goals? What do you hope to achieve through your union? If you find your common goals to be a solid foundation to build your future on then your relationship should survive any differences that may pop up along the way. My wife and I are in our 20th year of marriage and we don't always agree on everything. However, we accept each other for what we are- the good and the bad. I don't try to change or dominate her nor does she attempt to do that to me. Hope some of this helps. Again, best of luck to you both.

Blessings,

Draco

You kow al this chatter about 'religion' reminds me of how my hubby looks are most all 'religions', not spiritual paths mind you, but the 'normal ones', lol, you know what I mean! leave me alone!    (oRGANIZED!!!That's the word I couldn't think of!! )

anyways, on to his quote, 'Religion will only accomplish getting you killed, or molested!'

My hubby had issues when I first wandred back to the path, freaked even! Later I found out it was because of a past issue with someone else who had wandered onto the path, she bailed on him. (Joind a Dianic group, so it gave him some serious confidence issues.) so I backed off a bit, assured him I wouldn't change, now was I going anywhere, and that was 9ish years ago, and we are better than ever! He even bought me my first pent for christmas one year. That and a cool Dragon blowin' flame Athame.

It will work out how it works out, unfortunatle, it'll be one way, or another. His loss if he bails.

It has been my experience, though, that the more people push AT you about your religion, the more likely they are NOT to follow their own.  These are the ones who follow a path simply because its the "right thing to do", "that's the way I was raised" or "that's where my friends are".  The funny thing is that these are the ones that are the first ones out the door when the church service is over.  My take on that is that if ya can't stand going to church, why go?  Why make your life miserable following someone else's faith?  The most faithful people I've met are more accepting of me than the ones that are not.