welcome Parvati,
Well, it is interesting when we come to the place in our awareness where we recognize that we have grown out of a belief and are eager, ready, or anticipating bringing forth a new belief. At that place of awareness, you are ready to begin to bring forth the new belief in such a way that the old belief will still run parallel. So, in the first stage of bringing in a new belief, you do have a parallel belief existing. Recognize that there is really no way to fully eradicate, fully dismiss, or fully disengage from an old belief while a new belief is beginning to be birthed. But do recognize that as you make choices to strengthen your new belief, and turn towards it, it will gradually gain much more power than your old belief.
It is kind of like a railroad track, you know? You have one track on one side and one track on the other and for a while they run parallel. Now what you will find is that as they run parallel and as you continue to turn towards your new belief, you will strengthen it's power and begin to gather more and more evidence of its occurrence. The belief will move from a possibility, to a probability, and then a truth.
There will be temptations to attach your thoughts to the old belief because there will still be evidence showing you that it is true. What you do in that case is recognize that it is an opportunity to bring more of your "threads" from the old belief to your consciousness. That way they can also be acknowledged and then aligned with your new belief. When remnants from an old belief arise, it is a wonderful thing because it means that you are wishing to have more and more success with your new belief. You are just bringing up anything other than it so that your new belief can become more clear. We have found that what you are speaking of is the natural order, the natural process, that one goes through to become more aware of their new path.
Along with our beliefs--both old and new--we also attach feelings (emotions). Often when we catch ourselves still following the old beliefs, we fall into an emotion of pain. Then it is the pain that we judge. Do you see?
When you can get to the place where you notice yourself following the old path say, "Thank You. Thank you for bringing this awareness to me." Then eventually you will find it is not pain that you feel. You will feel appreciation because you have a greater sense of awareness that you desire to be more allowing to your new belief. You desire your new belief to create shapes, patterns, and manifestations in your life.
And so it is a gradual dance. It is an awareness. It is a statement of higher consciousness about your belief that you are experiencing. Eventually you will be so attuned, so aligned to your new belief, that your railroad tracks will no longer run parallel. They will become one single track (monorail) because you will have neutrality with the old belief and the new belief will then be primary.
Hopefully this answer has given you more tools to understand that all that you feel, all that you sense, and all that you've become aware of is actually a part of your creation and your new belief.
Many Blessings To You,
Cancer
Dragon
Sagittarius
Dog
hah I'm very glad you posted this. I may be a late replier and simply seem to repeat what the others have said but I think that the most important thing in life is to be true to yourself. You'll feel better once you allow yourself to be what you want to be. I've been in your situation before. Parents wouldnt understand. people think you're evil, all that stuff. Well, i've been living with it for 4 years and you know it doesn't even bother me anymore. It's well worth it, in my case. Besides, you always have the option of staying in the broom closet. And you have us at paganliving.