Lady_Elaine
Castle Lord
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Forest Queen
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Posted Thu Apr 05, 2007 3:36 am...
Conflict in the Craft
Editorial written by Faren~Used with Permission
A disagreement arises, one thing leads to another, and all of a sudden, BAM!, it becomes personal. Splintering of a once peaceful groups ensues with utter chaos, and the innocents are left wondering just what in the heck happened. Congratulations, you just experienced the birth of a new Witch War.
Sound familiar? If you've been involved with the Craft for any length of time, it should. If not, consider yourself extremely fortunate. Why do these conflicts occur? How can we stop them once they start, or better yet, avoid them altogether? Allow me to present my personal view and solutions to conflict in the Craft.
Why does conflict occur?
That's an easy one...human nature. It has been my experience that conflict is an inevitable by-product of interacting with other humans. We've all experienced it in one form or another. But, it is how we deal with the conflict that determines if it will remain a "friendly" debate or turn into a full-scale World War III.
Let's take a step back for a moment and look at humans as if seeing them for the first time.
Hmmmm...curious creatures, no? They all appear to follow a standard form - two legs, two arms, two eyes, two ears, ten fingers, ten toes, etc. Yet, they come in all different sizes and the diversity of skin coloration is quiet amazing given the fact they are all one species. Their ability to adapt to a variety of situations and climates is equally amazing. And, just look at the diversity of spiritual beliefs they have created! My, my, my...and the intelligence shown...remarkable! A most highly evolved species indeed...oh, but wait, what's this? Hmmm...conflict...Group B seems to believe that they are right and Group C seems to think that they are correct. Now Group A thinks everyone is wrong and is trying to "help" both sides. Most curious indeed.
Now, did you notice anything in particular in that little dialogue? No? The point I am trying to illustrate is that humans, while being of the same species, are a diverse group. Through diversity conflict can arise, unless a conscious effort is made to avoid it. But, how often do you see that happening in the real world? Not often. Our diversity makes us unique as a species and yet, we really are not all that different from one another. We all have the same basic body design (arms, legs, hands, eyes, etc), but there are slight differences. These differences should be a cause for celebration, not conflict.
Let's look at Pagans for a moment. (For time sake, I'm lumping all alternative nature religions - Wiccans, Witches, Heathens, Druids, etc - under the heading of "Pagan".) I have yet to find a more diverse group anywhere. Pagans come from all walks of life and socio-economic backgrounds. Yet, no two groups practice their beliefs exactly the same. Why is that? Diversity of human nature. Each individual brings his or her own unique personality, opinion, and ways of doing things to the group. All this is swirled in the Great Cauldron of the Gods and Pagan religious groups abound.
But, why do all these people come to Paganism? I have talked with hundreds of people over the course of the past several years and one theme keeps resurfacing. We all wanted to feel as though we belonged...as though we were not alone. If this is so important to us, why does conflict arise? We should be able to set aside our differences and work together. Pagans should unite and find respect for our collective beliefs. The Pagan Revolution is at hand!
Ah...nope...it ain't gonna happen. Not until a conscious effort is made on each *individual's* part to avoid conflict. That's a central theme I have discovered in alternative nature religions - personal responsibility and accountability. Just because Neophyte Nana Na Booboo doesn't agree with Lady LaLa or Lord Dum DeDum doesn't necessarily mean that Booboo is wrong...they are entitled to their opinions just like everyone else. Instead of letting a disagreement on the proper placement of candles turn into a full scale Witch War, why don't we try compromising? Allow Neophyte Booboo to experiment with a new candle arrangement. You never know, it might work better for the group. Then again, it may not. Without new ideas we cannot grow and learn.
With the infusion of new ideas, conflict will arise. And, I'm not saying that all conflict is bad, but I am saying that allowing a mole hill to become a mountain over night is a problem. I have seen many good groups splintered and eventually disbanded because of this very thing. An ill-chosen word, a hasty response, or simple miscommunication has been the down fall of more than one group, especially in the realm of cyber space.
So, how do we solve this potential problem? A few simple ideas may at least help to keep the Lords of Chaos under control.
* In email, no one can see you smile. Sure, we have the cute little "smiley faces", but how can we tell if the author means it sincerely or sarcastically? It is open to interpretation, and because of our diversity as a species, this can cause conflict. Keep this in mind the next time you read an email, or an article. If the meaning is unclear, ask the author to clarify any points which you find confusing.
* Before you fire off a letter, try writing a draft. Most email programs allow you to save an email as a "draft copy". Save the email and return to it later after you've had time to cool your heels a little. Does it sound like a rant or a personal attack? If it does, then it's probably a good idea to not send it as it can cause that mole hill to start building. If your email program doesn't have this feature, try writing your response in "Notepad", "Wordpad", or another text-typing program.
* Don't let it get personal. Whether it's a Full Moon rite, a general discussion meeting at a coffee house, or an online message service, do not be the first to throw the verbal punch. Choosing to avoid a verbal sparring match can take several layers off of that mountain in an instant.
* Give a little to get a little. You want respect for your ideas, opinions, and beliefs? Try showing some respect for the next person's, even if you don't happen to agree with them. Just because you think it's night and the next person thinks that it's day doesn't mean that their belief is any less valid.
Once we all start to consciously take these simple ideas into consideration, the number of Witch Wars may decrease drastically. Not to mention, it may just be the thing to bring about the beginning of true unity among Pagans, and end some of the conflict between us and other religious groups.
Is it naive of me to think so? Maybe, but who's to say that my opinion is any less valid than the next person? Think about it before answering that one...
Copyright The Candle and Cauldron 2001-2002
All rights reserved.
Editorial written by Faren~Used with Permission
A disagreement arises, one thing leads to another, and all of a sudden, BAM!, it becomes personal. Splintering of a once peaceful groups ensues with utter chaos, and the innocents are left wondering just what in the heck happened. Congratulations, you just experienced the birth of a new Witch War.
Sound familiar? If you've been involved with the Craft for any length of time, it should. If not, consider yourself extremely fortunate. Why do these conflicts occur? How can we stop them once they start, or better yet, avoid them altogether? Allow me to present my personal view and solutions to conflict in the Craft.
Why does conflict occur?
That's an easy one...human nature. It has been my experience that conflict is an inevitable by-product of interacting with other humans. We've all experienced it in one form or another. But, it is how we deal with the conflict that determines if it will remain a "friendly" debate or turn into a full-scale World War III.
Let's take a step back for a moment and look at humans as if seeing them for the first time.
Hmmmm...curious creatures, no? They all appear to follow a standard form - two legs, two arms, two eyes, two ears, ten fingers, ten toes, etc. Yet, they come in all different sizes and the diversity of skin coloration is quiet amazing given the fact they are all one species. Their ability to adapt to a variety of situations and climates is equally amazing. And, just look at the diversity of spiritual beliefs they have created! My, my, my...and the intelligence shown...remarkable! A most highly evolved species indeed...oh, but wait, what's this? Hmmm...conflict...Group B seems to believe that they are right and Group C seems to think that they are correct. Now Group A thinks everyone is wrong and is trying to "help" both sides. Most curious indeed.
Now, did you notice anything in particular in that little dialogue? No? The point I am trying to illustrate is that humans, while being of the same species, are a diverse group. Through diversity conflict can arise, unless a conscious effort is made to avoid it. But, how often do you see that happening in the real world? Not often. Our diversity makes us unique as a species and yet, we really are not all that different from one another. We all have the same basic body design (arms, legs, hands, eyes, etc), but there are slight differences. These differences should be a cause for celebration, not conflict.
Let's look at Pagans for a moment. (For time sake, I'm lumping all alternative nature religions - Wiccans, Witches, Heathens, Druids, etc - under the heading of "Pagan".) I have yet to find a more diverse group anywhere. Pagans come from all walks of life and socio-economic backgrounds. Yet, no two groups practice their beliefs exactly the same. Why is that? Diversity of human nature. Each individual brings his or her own unique personality, opinion, and ways of doing things to the group. All this is swirled in the Great Cauldron of the Gods and Pagan religious groups abound.
But, why do all these people come to Paganism? I have talked with hundreds of people over the course of the past several years and one theme keeps resurfacing. We all wanted to feel as though we belonged...as though we were not alone. If this is so important to us, why does conflict arise? We should be able to set aside our differences and work together. Pagans should unite and find respect for our collective beliefs. The Pagan Revolution is at hand!
Ah...nope...it ain't gonna happen. Not until a conscious effort is made on each *individual's* part to avoid conflict. That's a central theme I have discovered in alternative nature religions - personal responsibility and accountability. Just because Neophyte Nana Na Booboo doesn't agree with Lady LaLa or Lord Dum DeDum doesn't necessarily mean that Booboo is wrong...they are entitled to their opinions just like everyone else. Instead of letting a disagreement on the proper placement of candles turn into a full scale Witch War, why don't we try compromising? Allow Neophyte Booboo to experiment with a new candle arrangement. You never know, it might work better for the group. Then again, it may not. Without new ideas we cannot grow and learn.
With the infusion of new ideas, conflict will arise. And, I'm not saying that all conflict is bad, but I am saying that allowing a mole hill to become a mountain over night is a problem. I have seen many good groups splintered and eventually disbanded because of this very thing. An ill-chosen word, a hasty response, or simple miscommunication has been the down fall of more than one group, especially in the realm of cyber space.
So, how do we solve this potential problem? A few simple ideas may at least help to keep the Lords of Chaos under control.
* In email, no one can see you smile. Sure, we have the cute little "smiley faces", but how can we tell if the author means it sincerely or sarcastically? It is open to interpretation, and because of our diversity as a species, this can cause conflict. Keep this in mind the next time you read an email, or an article. If the meaning is unclear, ask the author to clarify any points which you find confusing.
* Before you fire off a letter, try writing a draft. Most email programs allow you to save an email as a "draft copy". Save the email and return to it later after you've had time to cool your heels a little. Does it sound like a rant or a personal attack? If it does, then it's probably a good idea to not send it as it can cause that mole hill to start building. If your email program doesn't have this feature, try writing your response in "Notepad", "Wordpad", or another text-typing program.
* Don't let it get personal. Whether it's a Full Moon rite, a general discussion meeting at a coffee house, or an online message service, do not be the first to throw the verbal punch. Choosing to avoid a verbal sparring match can take several layers off of that mountain in an instant.
* Give a little to get a little. You want respect for your ideas, opinions, and beliefs? Try showing some respect for the next person's, even if you don't happen to agree with them. Just because you think it's night and the next person thinks that it's day doesn't mean that their belief is any less valid.
Once we all start to consciously take these simple ideas into consideration, the number of Witch Wars may decrease drastically. Not to mention, it may just be the thing to bring about the beginning of true unity among Pagans, and end some of the conflict between us and other religious groups.
Is it naive of me to think so? Maybe, but who's to say that my opinion is any less valid than the next person? Think about it before answering that one...
Copyright The Candle and Cauldron 2001-2002
All rights reserved.
If you cant explain it simply, you dont understand it well enough.-- Albert Einstein
Blessings Bright and Dark,
