Merry Meet,

I am aware that I have been a member on this site for a few months now, but only now have I really even posted anything. Me and my fiance were avid practicers, and have been for some years now. I seek help now from a larger community. And I know on this board consists many wise and prominent people, very powerful in my opinion.

As of March 29th, 2007, I have become single. I was informed that my fiance wishes not to be together, and has informed me of (3) times she has defiled the sanctity of our relationship. Three different affairs that were not ever brought to my attention.

Now i'm not here to request sympathy. Ever since then, i've become less willing to practice, less willing to do things I normally enjoy doing, i.e. cook, play my bass guitar, read, program, art, etc. etc. I know it just sounds like i'm moping around, which I probably am. But to throw 6 years down the drain isn't something easy to set aside. I was just curious if anybody could assist in a way to rid my mind of these torments. Any resources, spells, even just a relaxing incense, a nice tea etc. would be helpful, as I am at a crossroads currently. I thank you all for your time, and blessed be.

With strong spirit,
~*~ Fate ~*~

I (almost 3 years ago) left a relationship of 10 (15 all together) years(i was the cheater) and started over basically... I am in a relationship now( a wonderful one) but i still feel alone at times like i am not sure what to do alot of times, for me it was delving more in m craft, comeing to sites like these to be around people who bellieved the same as i do, and believe it or not i owe my sanity to these sites, and video games....i play alot it passes the time and keeps me interested.....

as Freedom says, time takes time...its up to you to start over with that broken heart and find things YOU like to do, and TRY not to dwell in that past ....It is hard but it can be done...things take time....mope a little, but then play your guitar a little, pray alot...the goddess hears you....

hope all turns out well
blessings and love and lots of hugz to you

sylverk

Freedom,and the others absolutely speaking words of wisdom!!

I am sure it must feel like throwing away six years, but try to look at it in a different way, a learning time. Take the things you learned even the hurt and then look at yourself as a much stronger person. Maybe the reason you are not being active in the things you enjoy is you need to work from the inside out, to do some deep healing of your self.
Build your self back up, slowly and carefully making sure your new foundation (you) is centered and rock solid.
I know I can not give to the things I enjoy, art , music, even my gardens if I do not feel centered and strong.
And I find yoga to help me greatly when I need to find my center again.

Every journey starts with one step

Welela

It has taken me 3 years to get to a point where I can start exploring and feeling alive again after the end of my 26 year relationship.

Learning to trust again will be something that will only heal once I start dating again and actually trying to trust a man again.

Give it time, let yourself heal, and try some of the exercises which helped me tremendously:

At night before going to bed, or in the morning before rising (or both):

As you slowly breath in, say Cherish me
As you slowly release your breath, say Cherish Them

Do this as many times as is necessary to start feeling calm. Your cherishing them will help you forgive. Forgiveness is the key to getting over the hurt. I also used this when I had to, in self defense, send some bad "ju ju" his way. The backlash was a pretty good slap, but this did help get through the backlash.

Another one I would do, after grounding, and calling the goddess and having her receive you, is to pull all those negative, hurtful, feelings, cleansing outwards, from your feet to your head. I envisioned a broom sweeping the negative out. When I got to the top of my head, I would ask the goddess to take these energies, and recycle them. I would then envision this pouring out of light, straight to the stars for recycling. Some nights I would have to do it three or four times before I felt I could replace the energies with new energies being recieved from the grounding.

Hope this helps.

Fate,
Give yourself time. A few days is not enough; I see that only five days had elapsed from the time of your breakup and the day of your post. I just now noticed your post; I wish I'd seen it earlier. Be patient with yourself. You're going to feel all the emotions that come with such a loss: anger, denial, guilt, et cetera. Examine your feelings. Express them. Even approaching this group is a great start. It's going to take you a while to get over this. That''s perfectly normal, and you need to accept that. It may take a year or more. It did me. Give serious thought to what you want in a relationship, as well as your reasons for needing/wanting one. Don't try to rush into another relationship until you get some answers. You will pull through this, and you will be stronger and wiser for it. Trust me on this one.

Blessings and hang in there.
Monk

Dear Fate-


Just wondering, how you are doing ?

Love and light.

Red Feather