Embarrassed about Religion?


A few days ago an incident occured that startled me and I'd like
to know if anyone else has had a similar experience or thoughts
on the matter.

I was at Wal-mart picking up some altar cloth fabric for an
altar redecoration and I found a couple beautiful pieces
that I wanted to get. I went up to the cloth cutting station.
There was another woman there, a cheerful, polite, middle aged
woman, and she was getting some fabric cut as well. She started
talking to me, very nicely, and was obviously a chat-to-strangers
sort of a woman. She asked me what I was making. I froze for a
second and then said, "curtains." She smiled broadly and said, "I
thought that was what you were making. It's beautiful fabric!" I
said, "I know, when I saw it I knew I had to have it." And we
chatted on.

Why did I say curtains? I don't know the woman, would never meet
her again, didn't care what she thought of me, but instead of
saying, "I'm getting some fabric to decorate my altar; I'm
pagan," I said, "curtains," a blatant lie (I was getting half-
yard cuts of wildly different fabrics). I'm not ashamed of my
religious beliefs. Sometimes I am scared of peoples' reactions,
since they haven't always been pleasant. I don't offer
information, ever, but if someone asks an honest question, I give
an honest answer. Why "curtains"? It's been bothering me ever
since.

I have to wonder, if I had told the truth, would the woman have
continued chatting with me about her sewing, her kids, and more?
Or would the conversation uncomfortably stuttered to an end? If
I'm not ashamed of my religion and she seemed nice (not likely to
be verbally abusive or even rude about it) why did I say it?

Have others here hidden their religion or had an experience like
that? What do you think? I doubt I'm alone in this and I'd like
to know what others think.

I do it everyday Lady Elaine.
All my friends that live in my room (12 man room) all are accepting of it,
and regularly come to me for readings.
Majority of the time though,
I do have to lie about things I do.
I know how people react to these things.
Some are accepting,
Some shun you for what you believe in.

I can relate to a similar experience.
I actual had a girl leave me because of it, which didn't bother me much, because I'd appreciate someone who either accepts it or practices themselves.  She had walked into my room and started looking at my bookcase and pulled out some books.  I'm assuming she related the pentacle to "devil worship." I love that common misconception.  She asked me about it, and I told her straight forward.  After she left that day she never returned my calls haha.  Guess i'm just too weird for her LOL.

I guess for me, since I'm sort half-way in and half-way out of the closet door, doing something like that would be commonplace.  Maybe another part of you was aware of something more that was going on, and it was she who answered "curtains", especially since you would not normally hide something like that.  Perhaps, instinctively you knew that some weirdness was about to occur by telling the truth, and subconsciously you simply wanted to avoid the confrontation.  (?)  Having to explain yourself to people all the time gets tiring.  Paganism simply is not accepted by the mainstream.  Its truly unfortunate that we don't look askance at people who are making a "bible book cover" with THEIR fabric, but they might treat us with complete contempt because we are tainting OUR cloth by placing it on a Pagan altar.  It makes no sense.  
Try not to feel too uncomfortable with your answer.  Perhaps there was a higher level of knowledge that kicked in to protect you.  You never know what freakish person might have been lurking and listening in behind the reems of wool ready to kick your butt for being a "satanist".

I've never had to "lie" per-say.  Sort of a half-truth maybe?  Unless my purchases are directly from the "New-Age" shop downtown, and if I get asked what my plans are for this or that fabric, I simply state that I'm doing a bit of seasonal redecorating.  I'm not lying, yet my intentions are purely my own.

Lady Elaine,
You probably kept an uncomfortable situation from occurring with your answer.  I agree with SM.   The Spirit inside you knew what was about to take place had you spoken the truth.  Don't keep questioning yourself.   Usually our first instincts are the right ones.  
This is just my opinion.  

Luv, never feel bad about an answer that you give, cause like it ben pointed ut here, there was some reason the all kept you from speaking your normal mind.

Sometimes we don't know why, and we most likely will never know, just know this, you did what you were supposed to do in the moment.

 Lady Elaine, like everyone else has said, don't beat yourself up about it.  You did what you thought was best!  I can't say I have had a similar experience - in that I usually...being the "shy" girl I am *laughs* just tell them.  Sure I have had my share of folks who back away thinking I am going to turn them into a toad or something   , BUT....I have also been greatly suprised to have some folks answer with "Im a pagan too!".  I have met some  interesting folks this way.  But...I must stress again, if your gut told you that it was the right thing to do....then it was.  I would have no hesitation in doing just the same if my gut led me that way.

It is sad though, to think of the wonderful conversation you ladies had...and that the mere fact of which religious path you walk may have been enough for her to not want to talk to you.  I don't judge someone by what religion they are, and even now it saddens me to think that others view us in such a negative light.

Many hugs your way Lady Elaine, I havent been on these boards long, but long enough for your beautiful energy to shine through your many posts!  

I tend to side with EM on this. �There are only a few places that I frequent here in town that I will answer completely honestly; though for some reason more than a few people have asked me if I was pagan completely out of the blue. �Usually at any store not "New Age" the answer to casual chatter is a half truth, basically as much of the truth as possible without stating "I'm doing something pagan".  My reasoning for this is much like that of many of the rest of us here in that it is simply an attempt to avoid making a situation difficult.

Like everyone else has said. Your innerself knew what needed to be said. Remember where you (we) live hun. There are places in Louisiana that it's safe to be a up front pagan. N.O. is one. B.R. is another. But these smaller places are not.

I have had to take off my bumper stickers for the safety of my family. I had a creepy group follow me home from a store raging at me about hell, sin and everything else. I had to call the cops to get those wackos to leave. Hubby was pissed, neighbors got to see one hellava show. One yelled at us that we got what we deserved. Silly women ran like a fool when I point at her an chanted. It was only a calming chant for me, but she didn't need to know that.  

So I do at times say a little untruth to keep peace.

I don't know if this helps but I did a casting of my runes about what you've said and what would have happened had you replyed with the truth. They (stones) gave me an unhappy result. Not very bad but a scene would have occured.

Thank you all very much...I much appreciate your insight and thoughts on this. It can be a very sticky situation, tobe sure, but I now feel as if I didthe right thing. I know I should always listen tothe voice within, but thistime I thought I would throw it out there to see if my gut feeling was correct...you helped me confirm this...

Thank you!!

Lady Elaine,
I have a possible other take on this...
I think that because this woman was a stranger, and you were busy shopping, that you just gave her the "short" answer - intended to not evoke further conversation. I often tell a white lie instead of the truth, because the truth would most likely cause an unwanted deeper conversation. The white lie nips it in the bud, would not be questioned or challenged, and we all go on our merry way. We don't necessarily want to get into a philosophical discussion with everyone we meet. Your Spiritual life is none of her business, and you were not obligated to tell her about it. She probably only asked you about the cloth to make "small talk" anyway. Kind of like "Hello, how are you?" not really expecting to know how you REALLY are.
Shame over your Religion is not what was behind this. You just don't feel the need to "start the discussion" with everyone you meet. Personally, I don't like giving answers I have to explain or give a mini-course on so they know what I'm talking about. Especially when it's to a passing stranger. If my impression is that it's beyond their understanding or comprehension, I give them an answer I think they will understand.
kathirteen

Lady Elaine, in no way should you feel guilty about being guarded about your chosen religious path. As was stated earlier, you live down in the bible belt where our kind can be subjected to some pretty harsh behavior. I personally believe your guardian angel was guiding you away from a situation that may likely have been confrontational in nature. I was raised Catholic, my wife and kids are Christian. Needless to say, not only am I in the closet about my spiritual path, but I'm hidden under a pile of old garments . I've never come out and said "Hey guys, Guess what? Daddy is a Pagan now!" They may suspect I have Pagan tendencies, but they have no confirmation of it (unless they find my BOS-then the jig is up )For the most part I actually prefer to remain in the shadows. I've always preferred to let other people talk all they want until their true nature is revealed. Then, if its safe, slowly reveal things about myself. Ultimately, I I've always believed religion is a private matter. Always follow your instincts and your heart, and above all, be true to yourself and your beliefs.

Blessings

Draco

I think this is one reason why we are told in the more formal beliefs of Wicca to "be Silent."  In the past, witches have been subjected to incredible horrors simply by being associated to witchcraft--even those who were nowhere near it.  Nowadays, we are not hung, burned and tortured, but we are subjected to very heavy negativity that can affect us in a largely negative way.    The rule "to be Silent" is a good one--even for us eclectics that don't go in for Gardnerian or Alexandrian (or other) formal circles.

Lady Elaine:  

I have kind of been there. I don't think you should feel bad about your answer.  It didn't matter wether or not you would have seen the woman again the Goddess guides you in what you do.  Obviously something about her and your suroundings  prompted you to say what you did.  Sometimes it is just easier to tell a little white lie than to deal with the crap of them not understanding.  I went into a local jewelery store a couple of years ago to get some stones to make a Goddess rosary.  I was trying to explain what stones I wanted and asking him how much they were going to be and he wanted to know what I was making and I kind of tried to explain without going into to much detail.  He said oh those stones would make a really nice peice of jewelery and it would look really nice.  I then told him it wasn't jewlery I was making but a rosary and then said I wanted Maiden, Mother, and Crone stones.  Well he looked at me and asked if I was Wiccan, I told him no I was a green witch. Well My oh my you should have seen the look on his face.  He couldn't hustle me out of the store fast enough.  You wuld have thought I was going to perform a human sacrifice righ then and there.  I tried to explain the concept of green witch but he wasn't listening.   Even now if I by chance run into him he looks terrified. *LOL*  okay I now think it is funny but I kind of learned from that to make little excuses for things.  In your heart you will know wether or not to say exactly what it is for.  Here is anouther incident for the possitive.  My hubby and I were having breakfast at the local IHOP and I was wearing sone of my rings as I do when I go out.  Well a waitress (not ours) came over to me to look at my rings then she asked me if I was Pagan. *LOL*  her words exactly. So I looked at my husband and then said yes I was.  So you know instintivly who to say yes to and not.  So don't fet about about it.

Love and Laughter
~Raveness~

Indeshadows, I love your style!!!!!    

I live in a very, very conservative area and normally give evasive answers, especially to strangers.  The people who know me know that I use alot of herbal remedies, always know the phase of the moon and if Mercury is in retrograde!  If they can figure it out from there, good for them!  

Once at work I was asked point blank what religion I belonged to, I answered loud and proud "Pagan!!".  They all laughed and thought I was joking....... :roll:  I didn't enlighten them.